It's easy to be grateful for the things that are going well in life. I'm going to try a little exercise around being grateful for things that surround the things I'm currently discontented with.
My health. I recently had to have surgery to remove my gallbladder, resulting in a mandatory four weeks of convalescing where I can't do all my normal activities, namely exercise on my bicycle, an activity in which I was, prior to surgery, heavily invested in and was bringing me a large percentage of my total joy and feelings of accomplishment in life. But I'm grateful for modern medicine, which means it only takes four weeks of convalescing before I can return to all my normal activities, which meant I only had to be on painkillers for a week before the pain subsided enough to stop taking painkillers. I'm grateful for the other things I've had time to do, namely read more, focus on my job search, and take a step back and work on things like my personal values document and thinking about what I really want out of life.
My dietary constraints. Being without a gallbladder means I have to be much more careful about my diet and limit the types of foods I can eat. I've tried to focus on my diet as a critical element of my overall physical health in fits and starts over the years. I'm grateful for circumstances that will now make it part of my everyday existence.
My joblessness. Primarily, I should be grateful that I am no longer in a position that did not really fit me for a variety of reasons and in which I was not entirely content or happy, although given the way the arrangement ended I'm still working on that. However, the timing, aligned as it is with my wife's busy season, and the opportunity to re-assess my career trajectory, are both things I'm grateful for. I'm also grateful for the new opportunities being revealed every week, and I will certainly be grateful for whichever opportunity I decide to pursue in the end. I'm grateful for having enough of a financial cushion to weather joblessness for some period of time. I'm grateful that the financial constraints that have been introduced have led to more simplicity and less consumption.
The amount of time my personal and family commitments require of me. But I'm grateful for many other aspects of said commitments. Primary among them, I'm grateful for the meaningfulness family life brings with it by default. I'm grateful for the pure love expressed within my family. I'm grateful for how well my family cooperates at this thing we call life. I'm grateful for the attitude, grit, openness to learning, and communicativeness of our oldest, who becomes a legal adult in just two days (i.e. 18 years old). I'm grateful for the good souls of our two youngest, who desire justice, equity, kindness, and authenticity from the world and behave appropriately. I'm grateful for the unity I experience with my partner, and for the personal growth required when there isn't easy agreement. I'm grateful for the strength added to our commitment to each other every day we have to work on this thing we call family.
The sheer volume of work that faces me every day. A quick glance at my personal kanban board (yes, you heard that right, ask me about it after my talk!) reveals a total of 296 tasks, some of which contain subtasks. 25 tasks in the "inbox", meaning they were captured quickly and haven't been considered further. 217 in the "backlog", meaning they need to get done but are not prioritized yet. 28 in "up next", meaning they need to get done sooner than later. And finally, 7 tasks are in progress. (Aside: that only adds up to 277, so now I'm concerned that my "all tasks" view count differs from the sum of the visible tasks on the kanban board.) (Second aside: this is all tracked in Notion.) But I'm grateful for being tired and not bored! I'm grateful for a variety of interests and obligations. I'm grateful for these bricks of meaning that (hopefully) build the house of purpose in which my soul lives.
Aging. Mid-life (I'm 46 years old) is not awesome from a physical capabilities standpoint. Putting aside my recent health mini-crisis, I have a rapidly decreasing metabolic rate, back issues, hearing loss, my eyesight is getting worse and I'll require bifocals soon, and my sex drive is decreasing. But I'm grateful for the things that age does bring. More peace with myself. More wisdom with which to navigate rough seas. More financial security.
Alcoholism. I don't talk about this in public (or in private, for that matter) very much, but it fits in this list. About six years ago I realized that my drinking wasn't just a problem, but that I had a disease that would require complete sobriety and the help of others with the same condition. I'm approaching my six-year sobriety birthday. But sobriety hasn't just brought with it a release from addiction, freedom from the troubles drunkenness brings, and some significant weight loss. I'm grateful that sobriety has given me a spirituality and contemplative existence that works for me, and brings me more into the fullness of life. It was something I had sought for my entire adult life but failed to find in the common avenues reserved for such pursuits. When I first heard other sober alcoholics say they were grateful for their disease I thought they were delusional, but now I get it.
My health. I recently had to have surgery to remove my gallbladder, resulting in a mandatory four weeks of convalescing where I can't do all my normal activities, namely exercise on my bicycle, an activity in which I was, prior to surgery, heavily invested in and was bringing me a large percentage of my total joy and feelings of accomplishment in life. But I'm grateful for modern medicine, which means it only takes four weeks of convalescing before I can return to all my normal activities, which meant I only had to be on painkillers for a week before the pain subsided enough to stop taking painkillers. I'm grateful for the other things I've had time to do, namely read more, focus on my job search, and take a step back and work on things like my personal values document and thinking about what I really want out of life.
My dietary constraints. Being without a gallbladder means I have to be much more careful about my diet and limit the types of foods I can eat. I've tried to focus on my diet as a critical element of my overall physical health in fits and starts over the years. I'm grateful for circumstances that will now make it part of my everyday existence.
My joblessness. Primarily, I should be grateful that I am no longer in a position that did not really fit me for a variety of reasons and in which I was not entirely content or happy, although given the way the arrangement ended I'm still working on that. However, the timing, aligned as it is with my wife's busy season, and the opportunity to re-assess my career trajectory, are both things I'm grateful for. I'm also grateful for the new opportunities being revealed every week, and I will certainly be grateful for whichever opportunity I decide to pursue in the end. I'm grateful for having enough of a financial cushion to weather joblessness for some period of time. I'm grateful that the financial constraints that have been introduced have led to more simplicity and less consumption.
The amount of time my personal and family commitments require of me. But I'm grateful for many other aspects of said commitments. Primary among them, I'm grateful for the meaningfulness family life brings with it by default. I'm grateful for the pure love expressed within my family. I'm grateful for how well my family cooperates at this thing we call life. I'm grateful for the attitude, grit, openness to learning, and communicativeness of our oldest, who becomes a legal adult in just two days (i.e. 18 years old). I'm grateful for the good souls of our two youngest, who desire justice, equity, kindness, and authenticity from the world and behave appropriately. I'm grateful for the unity I experience with my partner, and for the personal growth required when there isn't easy agreement. I'm grateful for the strength added to our commitment to each other every day we have to work on this thing we call family.
The sheer volume of work that faces me every day. A quick glance at my personal kanban board (yes, you heard that right, ask me about it after my talk!) reveals a total of 296 tasks, some of which contain subtasks. 25 tasks in the "inbox", meaning they were captured quickly and haven't been considered further. 217 in the "backlog", meaning they need to get done but are not prioritized yet. 28 in "up next", meaning they need to get done sooner than later. And finally, 7 tasks are in progress. (Aside: that only adds up to 277, so now I'm concerned that my "all tasks" view count differs from the sum of the visible tasks on the kanban board.) (Second aside: this is all tracked in Notion.) But I'm grateful for being tired and not bored! I'm grateful for a variety of interests and obligations. I'm grateful for these bricks of meaning that (hopefully) build the house of purpose in which my soul lives.
Aging. Mid-life (I'm 46 years old) is not awesome from a physical capabilities standpoint. Putting aside my recent health mini-crisis, I have a rapidly decreasing metabolic rate, back issues, hearing loss, my eyesight is getting worse and I'll require bifocals soon, and my sex drive is decreasing. But I'm grateful for the things that age does bring. More peace with myself. More wisdom with which to navigate rough seas. More financial security.
Alcoholism. I don't talk about this in public (or in private, for that matter) very much, but it fits in this list. About six years ago I realized that my drinking wasn't just a problem, but that I had a disease that would require complete sobriety and the help of others with the same condition. I'm approaching my six-year sobriety birthday. But sobriety hasn't just brought with it a release from addiction, freedom from the troubles drunkenness brings, and some significant weight loss. I'm grateful that sobriety has given me a spirituality and contemplative existence that works for me, and brings me more into the fullness of life. It was something I had sought for my entire adult life but failed to find in the common avenues reserved for such pursuits. When I first heard other sober alcoholics say they were grateful for their disease I thought they were delusional, but now I get it.