It's easy to love people when they are at their best; it's not so much so when they are in a place of darkness. I met with an old friend today. Someone I have known for over 30 years, we are neighbors, we were colleagues in school, and even further back in kindergarten. When we were teens, we used to hang out together, frequent the same social circles - have common friends, and spend a lot of time together. Things started to change when I left the city and began living my life elsewhere. We kept in touch, and we'd meet every now and then when I would come home to see my parents. Since he's a lawyer and trustworthy, I have made him an administrator in my company because he could easily handle all legal or administrative matters for my company incorporated here in Romania while I was abroad. It's been like this for a while, and I would pay for his services every time. Today I ran into him in our neighborhood; he was outraged, and for a half-hour straight, he shouted at me and insulted me, reproaching me that I was not a friend. He was pissed off, his face shaking his mind clouded by dark thoughts, twisting and remembering all the bad stuff, even far from way back in 2012. I tried to calm him down and tell him I didn't realize that my silence and distancing caused him so much turmoil. Indeed, sometimes two years ago, I have decided not to spend so much time with him anymore because he would somehow put me down with his pettiness or vulgarity. I understood his situation and that he was probably getting border and very frustrated in his life, I tried to help challenge his ambitions and desires, but he didn't care. If I had joined him in his pettiness, he would have been happy, but I could not descend nor agree with most of his views or interests. So, silently I have withdrawn and shifted my focus onto other stuff while here.
I have left many people behind in my life so far, and I now easily notice when it's time to let go of a relationship that goes stale or turns detrimental. I don't believe this is selfish because otherwise, I would negate my own evolution. So I left this friend be, carried on with his life, wished him well, and asked him to relax a bit and maybe talk again in a few days. But no, he kept saying that it was over, that we were no longer going to see each other, and kept insulting me. I was calm all the time because I understood him. I took on all that anger and walked away. It is what it is; I hope he will understand.
Thank you for reading.
I have left many people behind in my life so far, and I now easily notice when it's time to let go of a relationship that goes stale or turns detrimental. I don't believe this is selfish because otherwise, I would negate my own evolution. So I left this friend be, carried on with his life, wished him well, and asked him to relax a bit and maybe talk again in a few days. But no, he kept saying that it was over, that we were no longer going to see each other, and kept insulting me. I was calm all the time because I understood him. I took on all that anger and walked away. It is what it is; I hope he will understand.
Thank you for reading.