Outgrowing People

My Friend, I know I might feel different to you, though I may sound the same. But isn't that funny how it goes?

Yeah. I can't place a finger on it. But you are certainly different. Am I different?

We all are always changing. Some accept it, others don't.

So I have changed. Not for the better I assume.

It's not about good or bad. Better or worse. What you're lamenting now is that I haven't told you some redeeming quality I can observe since the last time we've met.


I don't do that anymore. I've come to see how destructive it can be.

This is why you haven't been talking to me anymore. I see.

If not dishing out compliments what will we have to talk about? I mean we in this case as in you and I specifically.

I don't know. I guess we could share things. About our lives.

You may do that.

It's not the same. I used to like sharing things with you.

I know.

Why don't I anymore?

Because I no longer provide instant high fives like I used to.

Why not though? What has changed?

I have.

I knew you would say that.

Yes. And this once would've bugged me. And in fact it still does. Because the fact that I point out how it would've bugged me a lot before shows that in fact it still bugs me. I still can't get over it.

What? What can't you get over?

I still can't get over wanting to be liked by you. It still takes work. It's still a desire rather than a reality. Maybe I'll never get there. Maybe I'll look back at this and laugh as though it was one big mistake.

When i look at you now you look so assured though, I've never seen you like this. In fact i've never seen a person like this.

I notice this too. But I'm not willing to think this will be forever. People are always changing.

Right. Yes. Well does this mean we are no longer friends?

We are. My relationship with this idea of 'friend' has changed.

So you still love me?

Not the way you want me to. But later you will understand. If we are still friends. If we aren't then you'll put me on a list of people you've grown out of touch with. I'll be someone you "outgrew".

But I could never.

We do it all the time. I'm rooting for you, but I'm not expecting. And i know at first you will do it to try to please me. And until you no longer feel that last desire you'll never, ever, arrive.