Players routinely build, fail, and learn; spectators watch.
Players have a stake in the outcome; spectators do not.
Players create opportunities; spectators do not.
Despite how it might sound, there’s nothing inherently good or bad about being a player.
Whether it makes sense to be a player or not depends on where you are relative to the game you want to play.
It wouldn’t be entirely strange to realize that you’ve been spectating the entire time, ‘playing’ vicariously through others. In this case, the course of action is to figure out what it means to actually play and do that.
It also wouldn’t be entirely strange to realize that you have been playing the entire time, but in a game that you’re not interested in playing anymore (a concrete example: a career path). In this case, the course of action is to find a way to quit playing and find another game.