Unplanned Incident Notice

Description/Mitigation: Workstations/systems blue screening on boot up
Impacted Allocation/device: Windows OS
Date: 3/1/22
Time: 8:30 AM
Anticipated date/time of resolution: No ETR
Actions to take: No actions to take
Next update: ASAP

First of all, I didn't know the "blue screen of death" was so popular that it was made into a verb. 

Second, I take issue with there being no actions to take. There are plenty of actions to take while you are computer is blue screening.
  • Get up and grab another cup of coffee.
  • Make a run to the US Post Office to stand in line for 30 minutes just to buy a book of stamps.
  • Search LinkedIn for "blue screening" to see what job opportunities might be available.
  • Head to the nearest drive-thru and order a breakfast sandwich before they stop serving breakfast.
  • Clean your mouse and keyboard because frankly, they need a deep cleaning.
  • Walk the neighborhood with a notebook and identify at least three HOA violations. Write them up in a passive-aggressive style and tape them to the front doors of the offending homeowners.
  • Don gloves and pull the weeds in your side yard. Start with the ones taller than you.
  • Sit in a massage chair while using red light therapy, a teeth-whitening mouthpiece, and listening to a podcast.
  • Remain in your late-model purple Dodge Charger while it idles loudly to disturb all neighbors within earshot.