What I hear you saying is ...

You have an idea. You try to convey it to other people, they listen and nod.

How do you feel?

Did they understand it? Is it just a lack of personal interest in the idea? Maybe they were just thinking about something else and are acknowledging you so they can get back to their own thoughts. Maybe they didn't really listen at all.

Active listening is different than passive listening. As adults, we now when to nod and how to respond to make the other person feel heard. If we're having our own thoughts, we're just multi-tasking, it's fine. Except, it's really not. It's hard to read two sentences at the same time and probably as hard to hear two conversations. But that's what we're doing if we're not actively listening.


To let somebody know you're actively listening, feed it back to them. State what you heard and what you understood. Then, ask if that's correct? This back and forth will generate clarity and understanding for both sides.

When I get feedback in this way, I will improve the clarity of my thinking. I'll make edits and tighten it up. The same is true in my writing.

Today, Abe and I shared a screen and talked over the development of an idea for a new writing tool. Who knows if we'll build this new tool or if he'll build the features into Adagia. It was cool how we both actively listened, took notes to anchor our thoughts, and made edits to distill our thinking.

We uncovered two nice feature ideas. First was to resurface old writing with help from the community. The second is asking for and giving specific kinds of feedback.

Here's an example of the second.

Please give me the tl;dr of what you read; a summary. 

Leave your feedback in the comments if you will. Thanks!
TLDR you can't sit on two toilets. Keep your mind open and your mouth shut. 
2021-01-22 02:44:29