acceptance

The desire for a situation to be different has a way of making us feel conflicting things:

On the one hand, this desire can be an excellent source of motivation and energy.

On the other hand, it can be an overwhelming source of angst and frustration — especially when certain things are out of our control. 

In the case of the second set of feelings, I find acceptance to be an invaluable part of one’s response. 

There’s a big practical difference between undergoing the mental turmoil that comes from strongly wanting a situation to be different versus accepting a situation that isn’t ideal while focusing your effort on what you can control. 

The best analogy I can think of to describe what it means to shift from fighting reality versus accepting it is the feeling of relief you get when you’ve been clenching your first for a long time and finally let go.

It doesn’t mean you’re giving up, it just means you’re putting your energy somewhere where it can better serve you.