I've thought more about Cal Newport's
lifestyle-centric planning
lately after a segment in his podcast. I have to think really high level and vague about that lifestyle to do it, as the realities of my current situation--family, house, all the costs associated with both--make it hard to imagine a simpler life, especially financially.
It was this question and answer, specifically at the end of the segment where he talks about iteration as it relates to lifestyle-centric planning.
I'm on iteration 3, maybe 4, but sometimes I feel like iteration 1 or 2 was actually what I wanted and I fell away from that, specifically to have a family. Which I don't begrudge.
I also feel like old-fashioned retirement is my lifestyle-centric plan, then I'm just like some FIRE nut-job sheering my own sheep and collecting rainwater in the city.
I just want more time to read, think, and create. When Cal says "iteration 4 where you're on the houseboat creating art or writing your novel..." that rings true, but that also just sounds like retirement for a mid-pack thinker and writer like myself.
I recently got a lot of reading done while I was immediately recovering from my hospital stay and couldn't exercise. Now that I've picked back up exercise I'm reading less, because in the evenings when I would read, I'm exhausted from having woken up early and exercised (the
anemia
doesn't help). I recently got all the guitars out and revisited a song, but at this point all the guitars need work and so it's like the changing the lightbulb where first I have to get the guitars to the shop, which requires finding a moment during the week when the shop is open, which takes weeks because I work (or commute to/from work) for the duration of any shop's open hours.
Same for the new bike and trying to get the fit dialed in. I might have to schedule with [old bike fitter] for a Saturday but it will probably take weeks if not months to get in with him. [New bike fitter] is only available during the week.
I feel like I've said "no" to all the things already, and those are the things in my lifestyle-centric plan. I've put those aside to spend more time with family, raise kids responsibly, provide for them, be a good employee, and learn the things I have to learn to advance in my job. We're back to "it's just retirement"
> I'm on iteration 3, maybe 4, but sometimes I feel like iteration 1 or 2 was actually what I wanted and I fell away from that, specifically to have a family. Which I don't begrudge.
When I read this, it sounds like there is begrudge. Not willing or deliberate, but the feeling of begrudge is observed.
I wonder why people aren't simply allowed to accept that they can be unhappy with certain attributes of their life, like how a father cannot read/think/create as much as they like too, without that being a black/white indication of whether they love their family.
Is it simply the matter of not wanting to admit to things that might make us sound bad under the prescriptions of what a 'good' father ought to be like?
There is begrudge but it is not because of the thing. It is because my life does not allow for more of all the things. I begrudge the world that requires I be an average person who spends most of his time driving to a location, placating others' concerns, and then driving back from said location.
"Don't be average!" I hear the YouTube personality selling courses on how to be a YouTube personality say. "It was a lot of hard work," I hear the extremely lucky entrepreneur say. Yeah, f**k you.
When I read this, it sounds like there is begrudge. Not willing or deliberate, but the feeling of begrudge is observed.
I wonder why people aren't simply allowed to accept that they can be unhappy with certain attributes of their life, like how a father cannot read/think/create as much as they like too, without that being a black/white indication of whether they love their family.
Is it simply the matter of not wanting to admit to things that might make us sound bad under the prescriptions of what a 'good' father ought to be like?
There is begrudge but it is not because of the thing. It is because my life does not allow for more of all the things. I begrudge the world that requires I be an average person who spends most of his time driving to a location, placating others' concerns, and then driving back from said location.
"Don't be average!" I hear the YouTube personality selling courses on how to be a YouTube personality say. "It was a lot of hard work," I hear the extremely lucky entrepreneur say. Yeah, f**k you.
the desire for more is a painful one