Paycheck stories

It's Friday, and Mr. Friday would be most pleased. I was reminded of a few paycheck stories. 

Mr. Friday was good friends with one of the supervisors in the department. She let him get away with all kinds of shenanigans. He definitely would have banged her, and one time she caught him looking down her blouse while they were supposedly having a serious discussion in her cubicle. He knew he was busted because she clutched her blouse closed and gasped. She did have a nice rack, and a gay male supervisor who once groped her at a happy hour can attest. 

Most people had direct deposit, but there were still a few hold-outs who insisted on having a live paper check. The checks had to be picked up from another location, and the supervisor could not pick them up that morning. Mr. Friday was running late, and she asked him to pick up the checks on his way to the office. He agreed, but the reason he was running late was that he was out partying the night before. Rather than make good on his promise, he ghosted her and did not show up, opting to keep the party going. I don't even think he got written up for that one. He was shitty at asking for permission but damn good at begging for forgiveness.

A few years later, my friend Tim was a supervisor for the same company in a different department. He was also doling out a few paper checks, and he liked to make a spectacle of it by calling out each person's name and making them take the walk of shame to his cubicle. One of the employees had her full name, including her middle name, on her check. Tim said the full name, and she went ballistic. She lodged a harassment complaint against him with HR. He was dumbfounded that simply using her name was interpreted as harassment. Apparently, she had some sort of childhood trauma associated with hearing her full name.

When Tim moved to another department, his co-supervisor Stephanie (I affectionately referred to both of them as the "Two-headed monster") fought him for the right to dole out the checks. Apparently, she got more glee out of it than he did. Before she joined his department, Stephanie was a supervisor in my department, reporting to the same manager Joe. One day I was walking down the hallway by his office, and she scurried up behind me as I rounded the corner in front of his office and edged me out of the doorway exclaiming, "Ha! I beat you!" I raised my company-branded coffee mug and said, "I'm just heading to get my morning joe. Morning, Joe!" 

I did go out on one date with her, breaking my cardinal rule about dating someone from work. We fooled around a little, and she had a rack that rivaled the other supervisor's, complete with perfect #2 pencil eraser nipples.