"I'm going to pick up some thick-cut bacon."
"You know, there's one big problem with thick-cut bacon. You've got to really work to get it crispy."
"Why does it have to be crispy?"
"Oh, bacon most definitely has to be crispy. Nothing worse than chewing on a rubbery piece of bacon that seems like it's not fully cooked."
"That's exactly how my brother likes it."
"Good. Let him have all he wants. For me, bacon must be crispy, which is why I usually stay away from thick-cut bacon. You can get it crispy, it just takes a lot more work."
"What about maple bacon?"
"Some people just have to add sugar to everything. No, I don't need my bacon to be sweet. I have had candied bacon before, but I don't need it. I even tried something called 'Million Dollar Bacon' from a restaurant called First Watch. Complete hype. Bacon is good enough on its own without the need for anything else."
"What about Canadian bacon?"
"That's ham, not bacon. Whoever decided to call that bacon should go back to Canada. I remember when I was a kid and had my first Egg McMuffin, they said try this, it's got bacon. I took my first bite and spit it out. That was most definitely not bacon."
"What about turkey bacon? Has less fat."
"Are you kidding me? Fat is where it's at! Don't even get me started on turkey bacon. I want the real deal or nothing. Same goes for turkey pepperoni, keto ice cream, and cauliflower crust pizza. If I can't have the real thing, I will pass on the ersatz versions."
"You know, there's one big problem with thick-cut bacon. You've got to really work to get it crispy."
"Why does it have to be crispy?"
"Oh, bacon most definitely has to be crispy. Nothing worse than chewing on a rubbery piece of bacon that seems like it's not fully cooked."
"That's exactly how my brother likes it."
"Good. Let him have all he wants. For me, bacon must be crispy, which is why I usually stay away from thick-cut bacon. You can get it crispy, it just takes a lot more work."
"What about maple bacon?"
"Some people just have to add sugar to everything. No, I don't need my bacon to be sweet. I have had candied bacon before, but I don't need it. I even tried something called 'Million Dollar Bacon' from a restaurant called First Watch. Complete hype. Bacon is good enough on its own without the need for anything else."
"What about Canadian bacon?"
"That's ham, not bacon. Whoever decided to call that bacon should go back to Canada. I remember when I was a kid and had my first Egg McMuffin, they said try this, it's got bacon. I took my first bite and spit it out. That was most definitely not bacon."
"What about turkey bacon? Has less fat."
"Are you kidding me? Fat is where it's at! Don't even get me started on turkey bacon. I want the real deal or nothing. Same goes for turkey pepperoni, keto ice cream, and cauliflower crust pizza. If I can't have the real thing, I will pass on the ersatz versions."
