"You ever blast a fart and it feels great?"
"Well, most farts are pretty standard. I have had to hold it in when I'm in mixed company, and when I can finally let it out I have tremendous relief."
"I mean like true pleasure from the act of pushing out a fart."
"No, I can't say I've had that."
"It's like taking a really good shit. Doesn't it feel great?"
"It is what it is, but I wouldn't say I get some great pleasure from the act."
"Have you ever had hemorrhoids?"
"I have not."
"I have, and they're no joke. When they get bad, it feels like you're shitting out Legos."
"That sounds awful."
"But then when the pain goes away and they start to heal, your asshole itches like crazy."
"I'll take your word for it."
"So that's where a great fart helps. If you blast one, it's like a hands-free scratch. I had one the other day that felt awesome, but it smelled like bad Lysol. Like when you walk into the men's room at the airport. I think some farts are so pungent because they're filtered through feces. After all, anytime you smell someone's fart, particles which were just inside their asshole are now inside your nose."
"Such a reassuring thought. You've got a lot going on down there. You need to see a proctologist and get all that sorted out."
"Well, most farts are pretty standard. I have had to hold it in when I'm in mixed company, and when I can finally let it out I have tremendous relief."
"I mean like true pleasure from the act of pushing out a fart."
"No, I can't say I've had that."
"It's like taking a really good shit. Doesn't it feel great?"
"It is what it is, but I wouldn't say I get some great pleasure from the act."
"Have you ever had hemorrhoids?"
"I have not."
"I have, and they're no joke. When they get bad, it feels like you're shitting out Legos."
"That sounds awful."
"But then when the pain goes away and they start to heal, your asshole itches like crazy."
"I'll take your word for it."
"So that's where a great fart helps. If you blast one, it's like a hands-free scratch. I had one the other day that felt awesome, but it smelled like bad Lysol. Like when you walk into the men's room at the airport. I think some farts are so pungent because they're filtered through feces. After all, anytime you smell someone's fart, particles which were just inside their asshole are now inside your nose."
"Such a reassuring thought. You've got a lot going on down there. You need to see a proctologist and get all that sorted out."
