There was this site a few years ago that encouraged you to write without stopping. Some kind of stream of consciousness type thing. I don't remember what, if anything, happened if you did stop -oh right, it was called freewrite.com or something like that. Anyway I found some stuff I wrote there (good thing I saved a few posts, that also shut down) and it seemed to me that for a bunch of hastily written mindclutter it was relatively coherent. I did veer from one topic to another but at the same time the writing followed along a rational pathway that clearly outlined the connections between the different topics. There was something energizing about writing without taking into account formatting and all the technicalities I'd otherwise be vigilant about. I once wrote a great dialogue, now sadly lost forever, between a hurried commuter and a crackhead outside of a subway station. It was mostly inspired by real life, but what made it great in my eyes was that it sounded so real. It's easy to take a perfectly plausible conversation and turn it into terrible dialogue, just as it's easy to take a perfectly farfetched scenario and make it sound authentic if you know what you're doing - that's literally all that superhero movies do. Anyway...
Hey man, you got some motherfucking change, MAN?
Uhhh, who are you talking to? Me? (guy looks around all nervous)
I AM talking to you, man, do I look like I'm seeing double?
Oh okay, well sir I do not have change. I do NOT!
You sure about that, MAN? You fuckin' sure about that? (under his breath) I'll cut ya.
No, please don't hurt me, please! I have a family! (He had heard the crackhead's mutter)
I had a family too you know...then a crackhead got me. He cut me with a crack laced knife and that was it, I was hooked, MAN.
Oh God, no. Not that, please.
Well I gotta do something to you now that you're expecting it. Can't let you go just like that.
I'll suck your dick man, I don't have change but I'll Suck. Your. Dick!
Man, what?! I'm supposed to say that not you, dummy.
You, you want to suck my dick then?
Hell naw, what? Why we talking dick suckin' all of a sudden? You think that's all we're about? You think we get called CRACKheads for nothing?
It's because you suck dick for that crack though.
What the fuck did you say?
I mean, it's known.
Known? Known by whom? Who knows this shit?
The whole world knows the thing about I'll suck yo dick for a dolla. Tyrone the crackhead, Propeesha, lots of em.
I don't know any Tyrones.
It's known, that's all I'm saying. I was not trying to insult you sir.
That's right, you better 'sir' me, bitch. Sir me and suck my motherfuckin dick.
(The busy commuter gets on his knees and starts gobblin right in the middle of the street)
The End
But it's not really the end, is it? There will be many more episodes with this silly crackhead in the future. We have a hit that Tim Robinson himself would be proud of. Yes sir.
Hey man, you got some motherfucking change, MAN?
Uhhh, who are you talking to? Me? (guy looks around all nervous)
I AM talking to you, man, do I look like I'm seeing double?
Oh okay, well sir I do not have change. I do NOT!
You sure about that, MAN? You fuckin' sure about that? (under his breath) I'll cut ya.
No, please don't hurt me, please! I have a family! (He had heard the crackhead's mutter)
I had a family too you know...then a crackhead got me. He cut me with a crack laced knife and that was it, I was hooked, MAN.
Oh God, no. Not that, please.
Well I gotta do something to you now that you're expecting it. Can't let you go just like that.
I'll suck your dick man, I don't have change but I'll Suck. Your. Dick!
Man, what?! I'm supposed to say that not you, dummy.
You, you want to suck my dick then?
Hell naw, what? Why we talking dick suckin' all of a sudden? You think that's all we're about? You think we get called CRACKheads for nothing?
It's because you suck dick for that crack though.
What the fuck did you say?
I mean, it's known.
Known? Known by whom? Who knows this shit?
The whole world knows the thing about I'll suck yo dick for a dolla. Tyrone the crackhead, Propeesha, lots of em.
I don't know any Tyrones.
It's known, that's all I'm saying. I was not trying to insult you sir.
That's right, you better 'sir' me, bitch. Sir me and suck my motherfuckin dick.
(The busy commuter gets on his knees and starts gobblin right in the middle of the street)
The End
But it's not really the end, is it? There will be many more episodes with this silly crackhead in the future. We have a hit that Tim Robinson himself would be proud of. Yes sir.