This morning, a meeting went long, and I found myself almost reaching into my boxers and pinching off my urethra to avoid the mess that would ensue from urinating while sitting in my office chair. This method is not unprecedented; my college roommate pulled it off one fateful evening when we decided to go to a movie theater.
We had a firm rule that we should never be late to go see a movie and to get our money's worth. After all, we're paying for the ticket and some snacks from the concession stand (a big bucket of popcorn with lots of "butter" and a Bloke). Your ass should be in that seat from the moment the first preview starts to the credits rolling. That means take care of your woman's bladder before the movie starts, and don't you dare get up for any reason during the movie. Even though Mike was a big guy at 6'2" and pushing 300 lbs, I teased him that he had a woman's bladder because of how frequently he visited the loo.
It was late 1997 or early 1998 when the movie Titanic was released and became a cultural phenomenon. We chose to see what the fuss was about and picked a weeknight showing to avoid the madness of crowds. As far as I knew, everything was fine until the end of the movie when Mike bolted out of his seat the moment the credits started. If I recall the night in question, I think some people were actually applauding as Mike burned rubber out of the theater. Most of us were just sitting and trying to process the emotional roller coaster. I wasn't worried about Mike's sudden absence because I was the one who drove. I forgot to mention, in case you haven't seen Titanic that the running time is over three hours.
I waited in the lobby for Mike to appear. Sure enough, he walked sheepishly out of the men's room.
"Dude, what's going on? You ran out of there like the cops were after you!"
"I had to take a piss! I was holding it for too long."
"I thought you went before it started."
"I did! But all that Bloke and the water! I had to go within the first hour, but I held to the rule. When I couldn't hold back anymore, I put my hand in my pocket and pinched off so that I could relax the muscles and just keep it pinched closed."
"Are you serious? You were pinching off your dick for over half the movie! No wonder you tore out of there. Why didn't you just leave??"
"Because you would have given me shit about it."
"Well, not if I knew the situation. You probably did some type of damage. I hope it didn't make your woman's bladder issue worse.
We had a firm rule that we should never be late to go see a movie and to get our money's worth. After all, we're paying for the ticket and some snacks from the concession stand (a big bucket of popcorn with lots of "butter" and a Bloke). Your ass should be in that seat from the moment the first preview starts to the credits rolling. That means take care of your woman's bladder before the movie starts, and don't you dare get up for any reason during the movie. Even though Mike was a big guy at 6'2" and pushing 300 lbs, I teased him that he had a woman's bladder because of how frequently he visited the loo.
It was late 1997 or early 1998 when the movie Titanic was released and became a cultural phenomenon. We chose to see what the fuss was about and picked a weeknight showing to avoid the madness of crowds. As far as I knew, everything was fine until the end of the movie when Mike bolted out of his seat the moment the credits started. If I recall the night in question, I think some people were actually applauding as Mike burned rubber out of the theater. Most of us were just sitting and trying to process the emotional roller coaster. I wasn't worried about Mike's sudden absence because I was the one who drove. I forgot to mention, in case you haven't seen Titanic that the running time is over three hours.
I waited in the lobby for Mike to appear. Sure enough, he walked sheepishly out of the men's room.
"Dude, what's going on? You ran out of there like the cops were after you!"
"I had to take a piss! I was holding it for too long."
"I thought you went before it started."
"I did! But all that Bloke and the water! I had to go within the first hour, but I held to the rule. When I couldn't hold back anymore, I put my hand in my pocket and pinched off so that I could relax the muscles and just keep it pinched closed."
"Are you serious? You were pinching off your dick for over half the movie! No wonder you tore out of there. Why didn't you just leave??"
"Because you would have given me shit about it."
"Well, not if I knew the situation. You probably did some type of damage. I hope it didn't make your woman's bladder issue worse.