Water came rushing up towards me. The smell hit me first. Putrid air with the acidity of years of neglect. Time stood still as my nostrils were assaulted.
Then the water itself hit me. Brown and rust red. Wet, hot, and coming at me with immense pressure. The skin on my hands began peeling as I tried to stop the water from hitting my face.
Most horrifying of all was the taste. Bile and hot bitter flecks trickled onto my lips despite my best effort to escape.
When I finally escaped, I no longer looked human. I was more like a drowned marmot covered in a stench too strong to be wafted away by any breeze.
I walked out onto the street and loosed the contents of my stomach on a nearby car. As my vision came back into focus, I noticed the vanity plate on the mini cooper that I had just defiled. It said "IC WEINER." I chuckled as I realized my fly was undone.
Then the water itself hit me. Brown and rust red. Wet, hot, and coming at me with immense pressure. The skin on my hands began peeling as I tried to stop the water from hitting my face.
Most horrifying of all was the taste. Bile and hot bitter flecks trickled onto my lips despite my best effort to escape.
When I finally escaped, I no longer looked human. I was more like a drowned marmot covered in a stench too strong to be wafted away by any breeze.
I walked out onto the street and loosed the contents of my stomach on a nearby car. As my vision came back into focus, I noticed the vanity plate on the mini cooper that I had just defiled. It said "IC WEINER." I chuckled as I realized my fly was undone.
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Here's to another lousy new year!