Nah - part 2

I spent some of today thinking about a question Brandon asked me in response to my post yesterday. 

"Where did all my excitement go?"

It seems like a simple question to answer. But thinking about it today, I came up with a few answers. 

#1. I was a bit disappointed with the Medium Writing Challenge results. Not because I was nowhere near being the winner. But I didn't really feel like any of the winning writers took my breath away. I ended up reading a few analysis of the writing challenge and many people wrote that the real winner was Medium. The writing challenge brought a lot of attention and membership to the platform. But in the end they are a business and operate towards profit. 

That made sense but also disappointed me at the same time. I have been thinking about removing my post from the platform but I am not certain yet. 

#2. I was getting very very excited to go back home after 22 years. I had started to call my friends and make reunion plans. A lot of us have traveled around the world and coordinating out reunion was getting me very happy. 

Now, it seems like that will not be happening. It is dangerous and unwise for anyone to vacation there at a time like this.

#3. My family - some very close and also friends still live back home. If things escalate to what is being feared, we could have a situation like Rwanda where one group will attack another. The already existing problems will compound and it will take decades to rebuild. Not only will that make living there very bad, it will make the country prey to terrorist groups and damage an entire generation. 

All these reasons impact my mood and I find myself looking for ways to deliberately stay excited and focus on my goals. It is not easy but I will keep trying.