I was at my favorite book store many years ago. Way before Amazon destroyed the idea of a brick and mortar bookstore. When I got a call from my dad. He was still back home when he called me.
My face lit up and I talked to him. I am a very obvious daddy's girl and could talk to my dad for hours about anything. There was an elderly gentleman sitting close by. I could feel that he was watching me. When I finished my call, he came over and asked if he could talk to me.
I said sure. He asked me if that was my dad I was talking to. The man wasn't certain cause I don't call my father 'Dad' or 'Ababa' like most Ethiopian's do. And I said yes.
He proceeded to tell me that he had three sons. Around my age. But he doesn’t recall the last time he had a conversation like the one I just had with my father.
“In our country, we crave having boys so they can continue our family name. But few of us get to be my age and realize that there is nothing like a daughter’s love. I wish I had a daughter who like you would beam at talking to me - no matter where she is. Your father is a lucky man.”
I was in tears when he was done. I could feel the pain and loneliness this stranger was feeling in a foreign land. But I didn’t have any words to console him with.
My face lit up and I talked to him. I am a very obvious daddy's girl and could talk to my dad for hours about anything. There was an elderly gentleman sitting close by. I could feel that he was watching me. When I finished my call, he came over and asked if he could talk to me.
I said sure. He asked me if that was my dad I was talking to. The man wasn't certain cause I don't call my father 'Dad' or 'Ababa' like most Ethiopian's do. And I said yes.
He proceeded to tell me that he had three sons. Around my age. But he doesn’t recall the last time he had a conversation like the one I just had with my father.
“In our country, we crave having boys so they can continue our family name. But few of us get to be my age and realize that there is nothing like a daughter’s love. I wish I had a daughter who like you would beam at talking to me - no matter where she is. Your father is a lucky man.”
I was in tears when he was done. I could feel the pain and loneliness this stranger was feeling in a foreign land. But I didn’t have any words to console him with.
In the past this made me feel good about myself, but these days I wonder more about why the parent-child relationship turned out that way on the other side.
Why is there such expectations so unrooted in their reality?