Monologue in my shrink's cabinet

I want to take this for granted, but I can't. I've seen it with my own eyes, stretched to a breaking point where it revealed something else behind it. The illusion of time became apparent. There was no time, just this endless present moment that always existed. I was a spectator in this wreckage of realities. I got caught between the layers of physical reality layered like an onion. This human mind should come with humbleness turned on by default. But, that's not the case. We've got pride. I could not comprehend, and I've given it all up. As I was trying to find my words, I began pushing on the walls of my room. The materiality of the external world seemed like a joke. I died that day and was reborn gradually over the course of a few weeks. I'm still pulling myself out of the womb every single day. Where do I belong in this illusory world?
This human mind is trying to comprehend you. It sometimes gets a sense of your vastness. This world reflected in it is nothing but a glimpse of you. These human eyes who seek for you up in the skies with hope and love know you far and beyond ruling over unknown worlds. And yet, in the palm of your hand, a human hand is held. These human eyes have shaped this human mind, which understands what it sees but does not understand you. Only you do when you shine through. The underlying current that does not move or flow or beat; holds everything that is, here and beyond. Forever and ever.
2022-05-21 20:11:21
This world is not illusory. The human mind that is trying to comprehend it and 'you' is the illusory one.
2022-05-22 22:25:30