# it's been a while I haven't wrote

Today i beat my previous 10km running record. I did it in under 46 minutes. The funny thing is that, when i began running with my buddy Connor we were chatting for about 10 minutes and just taking it easy. He had COVID two weeks ago, me about a month ago so we kinda tacitly agreed to not go as hard as the last time. Once we arrived in tiergarten Connor saw two guys running some 200m ahead of us and said, see those two over there with blue top white shorts? Yeah, let's catch them. So, we started speeding up, and went hard, we caught them eventually. 5 min later we caught up on another dude, and then another on the way back. Here's the thing, i though about quitting after km 5. At km 6 i have decided that I'm not gonna quit and that I'll go even harder. Here's what I learned: give yourself the option to quit and you will suffer two times more. There are two types of suffering in sports. The uphill positive and downhill negative. Of you think, I'm not gonna make it, I'm gonna hurt myself, my heart will explode, i will die or whatever negative shit, the suffering will gradually put you down and reduce your performance. If you think: it hurts like hell but I'm gonna give it a little bit more, and I'm gonna push a little bit harder, or I'm gonna raise my pace a bit more or just focus on next step and next and keep at it, i swear it gets easier, and then you can go harder. I was in vacation last week and i found myself on the bike with my friend Seb, climbing a hill in the afternoon, 35 degrees Celsius, just insane, I was done. It was continuous suffering, i have had a beer before, didn't eat properly, I was overheating, and my legs were just not wanting to function anymore. I was feeling like shit, i just wanted that to end. When i arrived at the top of the hill i couldn't stand, my legs were shaky and they wouldn't hold me. I had a hard time peeing. I was damaged, needed like 10 min to get back to my senses. That suffering, i don't know, i pushed through but i couldn't positively self motivate. During the entire climb i was cussing a d wanting it to stop or get up faster. Also the beer didn't help. 

Anyway... Long story short. Mindset is a game changer.