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Retrospective

Ready. 2021-01-01 00:19:32

2020 has been a horrible year. 
I know everyone is saying that but I can't articulate just how much I loath this year. 

I do not recall a year where I have been this anxious, sad, terrified and hopeless. 
But I have also done more this year than any in recent memory. 

I remember thinking about how wonderful 2019 was because I started writing as a daily habit and discovered that I liked it. That set me off into many different new experiences that made 2019 remarkable. When 2020 arrived, I assumed that if I kept the same pace as 2019, then 2020 would be spectacular. 

Then COVID hit. Then a personal health crisis hit. Then another personal health crisis hit. 
And none of these challenges were minor by any measure. So I had to work HARD to get my mind to just focus on the positive and not think about things around me. 

The intense desire to control my thoughts and focus on staying optimistic helped me get stronger. It also forced me to cut out everything and everyone that could affect my energy. In many ways, my tolerance of other people's problems just disappeared. For the first time in a very long time, I said NO to invitations, activities and even conversations that I didn't clearly want to be a part of. I didn't realize how much of my time was occupied doing things for other people and how much that affected my own goals. 

In many ways, COVID showed me what I needed to do to get my time and focus back. 
With an increased ability to say NO, without a commute to waste my time and with an intense focus on what exactly I want to get out of life, 2020 ended up being more productive than I expected. I learnt a lot of lessons in 2020. The type of lessons that will last a while. 

I am so ready for 2021. 



More from Keni

Retrospective

Ready.
Yes I remember when I first met you in person in Baltimore. I remember that Keni being someone who reminded me of a person who said yes by default. 

We didn't talk much 2020, so interested in getting your retrospective recalls of how this more discerning, more selective Keni came to be.
2021-01-01 17:23:30