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At the grocery store 2020-12-06 19:52:05

I just returned from the grocery store, where it seems the cost is now the equivalent of a used car payment. And I live by myself! When did that happen? Good thing I don't have a car payment. This reminds me of the good ol' days when a great deal on Coke would be five 12-packs for $9.99. Nowadays, they call two 12-packs for $5.99 a "deal."

I saw two signs at the grocery store that made me chuckle.

Sign 1 (found in the liquor aisle): "To improve your shopping experience, security cameras in use at this location." This sign was accompanied by a large picture of a security camera. It's no surprise that there would be cameras in the liquor aisle, but how exactly do these security cameras improve my shopping experience? If I happen to be someone whose intent was to walk down the liquor aisle, grab a bottle of hooch, tuck it under my jacket, and walk out the door, then these security cameras are explicitly harming my shopping experience. And if I were not inclined to steal, the sign is a reminder that I'm being watched. That gives me an unsettling feeling and certainly does not improve my shopping experience.

Sign 2 (found above the gift cards): "Spend Wisely. Live Freely." How exactly do these two concepts go together? My idea of living freely has nothing to do with spending wisely. These two concepts appear at odds to me. Maybe there are words missing? Spend wisely (NOW). Live freely (LATER, IF YOU LIVE THAT LONG). I guess "Be a spendthrift. Live Freely." doesn't quite have the same ring to it.

More from Brandon Wilson

You treat words too seriously. The people using these words don't mean to mean what they actually say. They are BSing you and they know it. You're the only one giving them the benefit of the doubt by being amazed at their incorrect usage of language!
2020-12-06 22:01:06
Hey I'm just taking them at face value. And don't get me started on "10 items or less"
2020-12-07 02:06:48
I suspect that this affinity for taking language at face value is also why you filter out non-names haha.
2020-12-07 17:45:46
I know that's one of your favorites. You're right there are many non-names out there that haven't even reached the status of no-name or that should be allowed the dignity of being called a name.
2020-12-07 17:55:21