Getting off a call 2021-02-19 15:00:35

Have you ever been on the phone with someone and you just can't seem to end the call? They just don't get the hint that it's time to hang up. I think we've all had this experience, so I've got some suggestions for things you can say that should end the call immediately. Now, be ethical about it. Only use these reasons if they are true or reasonably true. You wouldn't want someone to impugn your integrity.

Here we go. Phrases you can say to end a call immediately.

"My son's school is calling me."
"I have to let the dog out."
"The lab is calling with my STD test results."
"The neighbor's car that I borrowed is being repossessed."
"I have explosive diarrhea and I'm wearing tight white pants."
"The magnifying glass mounted above a stack of old newspapers stored in a balsa wood container has started a fire."
"The garage door is about to close down on my vintage record collection."
"The circuit breaker blew for my Bitcoin mining rig."
"A Jehovah's witness is at my porch buying the last of a Girl Scout's cookies that she brought for me."
"There's an Amazon driver stealing my Door Dash delivery."
"My chinchilla is eating my Donald Trump Chia Pet."
"I just evacuated full bowels and bladder into my adult diaper."
"Someone in front of my house is simultaneously lighting off fireworks and discharging a firearm."
"A beaver has begun knawing on my right 4th metatarsal."

Episode 104 of the Brandonian Doctrine

Brandon Wilson

The last wallet you'll ever own Gary V's thoughts on Twitter
A friend of mine used and taught me the following: "That's all I've got. Do you have anything else?"
2021-02-19 15:04:59
The one that would ring true in SF:

"There's an Amazon driver stealing my Door Dash delivery."


Of course, nobody would care.

Side note: These drivers are under-cover informants to their ring of thieves. They often check the door to see if it's open - as if they're coming in. Why wouldn't you? When asked why: they just shrug and leave.

Lock your doors folks.
2021-02-19 15:47:44
Considering that I'm already at hunger level 8 when I order Door Dash, I would care! 
2021-02-19 15:58:58
Can we get a write up on the Brandonian Hunger Index?
2021-02-19 16:03:04