Others

Humans.

We judge ourselves by intention, we judge others by action.

It's funny but we all do it. Not like all, but it's just instinctive.

I believe judging others by intentions also can improve relationships. I don't mean everyone in the world. I mean those close to us. Family and/or age-long friends.

This is important because sometimes we want others to be there for us, but they didn't. In such instances, understanding them by their intentions could be what could make you not go over your head about the issue.

Tiny perspective. But it could save a relationship/friendship.

Tiny stuff, because at least you do it for yourself. So, extend to others.
This is actually much easier said than done. We are always fully justified to ourselves, we're understanding of ourselves. I was on a Borges reading tip and discovered this...
"Like all writers, he measured the achievements of others by what they had accomplished, asking of them that they measure him by what he envisaged or planned."



2021-03-05 23:47:37
I was chatting with
williamliao
about this in the context of how we view/assess humans in relationships.

Will had recommended me a book about dopamine, and I had mentioned that it was providing a lot of formalized knowledge/concepts/understandings on a lot of my behaviors that was previously unknowns or just things that I would consider 'unique to myself'.

I also mentioned how I love such allows me to not take myself so seriously and instead just treat myself as a mechanized system. A system with rules that you can study and improve  instead of an enigma where you just throw your hands up and justify everything using stories with you as the hero.

I also said that I was realizing that the key is to treat thyself as a machine (deterministically) while never treating/viewing others like that. Two reasons for the latter. People hate being seen so essentially and deterministically. They don't want people to think I know you in that way. Second... because we never have enough data on the other person that it's better to err on the side of respect. It's their life so better to just not try to see them mechanically.

"A moral person is someone who accepts the consequences of their own morality, not those of others.”
Jo Nesbo

2021-03-08 15:40:57