Once alone again the thrill waned. Regret came. Why had she told the gals? She knew why, but she questioned her ethics. She was weak. Willing to throw someone else under the bus for a cheap dose of stimulation. This is what the other gals looked from her. Juicy tales from
police
HQ. She would no longer share tales with them.
For the first time her just for money gig at the police station began feeling like something more. Her manager had asked for a one on one. Gave her a promotion. And even said that there might be a full-time opportunity for her. Apparently a long timer was about to retire. And they'd need to fill that role. Marta was the most obvious person to do just that.
That meeting filled her with optimism. Excitement for the future. A feeling she hadn't had in a while. Might she actually be able to become a "regular" person with a "real" job? Pay her bills and not live credit card to
credit card
statement?
The benefits were nice. And she would be able to drop all her other side gigs. She would spend her nine to fives at the police HQ, but get her vacations. She would never need to worry about money again, although she would never be rich. But rich was never something she believed she would be. Never had been the goal.
It was raining now. She was alone at her apartment. Holding a cup of tea that had gone cold. She knew how her gals were. The story she had shared would get out. No chance of stopping the leak. Marta hoped that people would be too distracted with other things for the story to become loud.
A dark crimson of despair flashed into her. She closed her eyes. Wrenched her stomach. Imagined the prospect of the full-time position at Police HQ being yanked from under her. Even her losing her part time job there. A nightmare. That was all that was. It wouldn't actually happen, told her self while contemplating whether to finish the cold cup of tea.