People that lived VS people that survived

Ester Perel talks about the people she grew up around. Both her parents are the sole survivors of the holocaust in Belgium. She grew up around people like herself where people had horrific past in common.

She describes the people around her belonging to two groups;
People that lived.
People that survive.

The people that belong to the survived group are constantly thinking about what happened. They have lost their faith in humanity and are expecting something horrible to happen around the corner. Almost like they feel they escaped the inevitable. These people are still living in the past and are depressed and anxious.

The people that lived are the ones the want to make the most of the second chance they got at life. They want to live to the fullest. They want to make every second count. They have no time or interest in dwelling in things that are trivial.

These two sets of people are exactly what Viktor Frankly talks about in his excellent book  man's search for meaning. Himself a holocaust survivor, he had this quote that captures exactly how people that go through trauma should read often.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”