M’laisse

“There’s nothing on again,” you say as you refresh the YouTube TV Home page for the third time, again scrolling down the list to completion.

It’s 9:43pm on another Tuesday evening.

Or is it Wednesday, you nearly wonder before the TV takes you back into its hold.

The new sound bar you found online sounds brighter than the old one, you note. That Reddit post you’d read was right, after all. At first you didn’t understand what sounding bright meant. It isn’t just louder, but clearer. And brighter. How else could you describe it?

You choose not to. The flickering screen hums on to itself, seemingly content as you pick up another chip from a bag and dunk it in a dip in a jar. The show’s audience laughs along and starts to cheer as you plunk it into your mouth.

Your feet stretch out and rest atop a coffee table; rather, atop a book atop that table. It’s the third in a series that you’ve been obsessed with, that you’ve gotten two of your friends to pick up because it was just That Good. You were waiting for months for the newest in the series to come out. You’ve had the book for five weeks and are 41 pages into 568.

Above the TV sits a bookshelf with a wooden vacation knick knack depicting a golden bird, a bag full of d20 dice from that summer you got into playing D&D, more books you haven’t opened in ages, an old Christmas decoration that was generic enough that it blends in as yearlong decor.

It’s summer, you remember, as you glance toward a window, its blinds drawn. They make new TVs these days that block the glare from windows better, you read once on Reddit. You make a mental note to note that in your Notes app, as you continue to scroll Instagram. 

You remember you made a list of new shows that you wanted to watch, but instead of opening it up, a video of a seal hopping into a boat starts to play in front of you and you let it happen. It is cute, after all. You refresh YouTube again. It takes longer to load on your TV, but your couch is comfier than your computer chair. Besides, your computer still has a tab open with that draft half-complete that you really should have finished yesterday. 

Somehow acknowledging it should have been done yesterday checks a box in your mind that’s as good as having done so already. At least until you spy that open tab again.

Weighted blankets are overpowered, you think, as your body’s dense cocoon presses you further downward into your couch’s embrace. After all, you got the brand they recommended on Reddit.