M’laisse

“There’s nothing on again,” you say as you refresh the YouTube TV Home page for the third time, again scrolling down the list to completion.

It’s 9:43pm on another Tuesday evening.

Or is it Wednesday, you nearly wonder before the TV takes you back into its hold.

The new sound bar you found online sounds brighter than the old one, you note. That Reddit post you’d read was right, after all. At first you didn’t understand what sounding bright meant. It isn’t just louder, but clearer. And brighter. How else could you describe it?

You choose not to. The flickering screen hums on to itself, seemingly content as you pick up another chip from a bag and dunk it in a dip in a jar. The show’s audience laughs along and starts to cheer as you plunk it into your mouth.

Your feet stretch out and rest atop a coffee table; rather, atop a book atop that table. It’s the third in a series that you’ve been obsessed with, that you’ve gotten two of your friends to pick up because it was just That Good. You were waiting for months for the newest in the series to come out. You’ve had the book for five weeks and are 41 pages into 568.

Above the TV sits a bookshelf with a wooden vacation knick knack depicting a golden bird, a bag full of d20 dice from that summer you got into playing D&D, more books you haven’t opened in ages, an old Christmas decoration that was generic enough that it blends in as yearlong decor.

It’s summer, you remember, as you glance toward a window, its blinds drawn. They make new TVs these days that block the glare from windows better, you read once on Reddit. You make a mental note to note that in your Notes app, as you continue to scroll Instagram. 

You remember you made a list of new shows that you wanted to watch, but instead of opening it up, a video of a seal hopping into a boat starts to play in front of you and you let it happen. It is cute, after all. You refresh YouTube again. It takes longer to load on your TV, but your couch is comfier than your computer chair. Besides, your computer still has a tab open with that draft half-complete that you really should have finished yesterday. 

Somehow acknowledging it should have been done yesterday checks a box in your mind that’s as good as having done so already. At least until you spy that open tab again.

Weighted blankets are overpowered, you think, as your body’s dense cocoon presses you further downward into your couch’s embrace. After all, you got the brand they recommended on Reddit.
Damn this made me wonder if Drew Hendrix really like this in his real life. Or was he just going off on the imaginary 
reddit
lurking lazy-guy I like to shit on in my emails.

2021-07-19 14:59:17
Lol the lizard brain inside of him, perhaps, but I don't think it comes out very often, and even less so in the summer.

while i'm far from the picture of motivation i'm not quite in the straits described above.

how about you? any bells of recognition within? do you reddit?
2021-07-19 17:19:57
wait so does that mean Drew Hendrix is quite the disciplined guy? How would you rate this discipline on a scale of the character you painted above to transcendent monk navigating through 
wall street
... so in zen that you don't even notice them and they don't need to be out in the mountains somewhere.

reddit
 but barely. I used to a lot lol. But not as much as some of my friends.
2021-07-19 21:50:53
moreso than the above but no monkishness about me lol. i'd say between the above and a monk, i'm around a 6.5; take myself seriously enough in some spots but bafflingly don't in others. 

where would you range between that couch and that zenwarrior?
2021-07-20 13:16:10
Probably 5.1

So disciplined about certain things. 
So loose with others. 

But have just a bit more stacked towards the former that I come out with a 5.1
2021-07-20 14:59:17