Pretending to work

Never has there ever been a better time to pretend to work. Most people with desk jobs are still working remotely, which means you don't have to worry about sitting in a cubicle in the office while the boss watches your every move. "Boy, you sure are in the break room a lot. How many trips is that to the restroom? Are you sure you were only gone 30 minutes for lunch?"

One of the key issues with pretending to work remotely is how to make it look like your computer is always active. My work laptop is programmed to lock the screen after five minutes of no activity. It is a system setting that I cannot change. I find it particularly annoying when I'm on a call watching someone share his or her screen, and my screen repeatedly goes dark. Most of the time, my lightning-quick reflexes allow me to hit a key and prevent the lock.

Queue the mouse movers also referred to as "mouse jigglers." These are software or hardware solutions that keep the mouse moving so that you never appear idol, even if you've gone out for a two-hour lunch. There are apps you can install that tell the computer to move the cursor after a certain amount of inactivity. Some apps even allow you to program keystrokes for more complex movements. The downside to software solutions is that they require you to install them on your system. If you are using a company laptop, it's probably locked down and won't let you install anything. If you can install apps, the company probably monitors what you install and will be privy to your shenanigans. 

Another option is hardware. Place your mouse in a device called a mouse mover/jiggler, and it will randomly move the mouse for you. Some models physically move the mouse; other ones use a spinning disk to trick the optical sensor into thinking it's moving around. The advantage of these devices is no need to install any software. 

Of course, idle time is only one factor. If you're not responding to emails or Teams/Slack messages, sooner or later people will see through the ruse. Many years ago when I was a supervisor, the company piloted a work productivity monitoring program. The IT team surreptitiously installed software on employees' computers that tracked log-in/log-off as well as the amount of time actively spent on every open app. The reports generated by the program painted a very detailed picture of how employees were spending their time. I'm sure programs like this still exist and are probably far more sophisticated now. No such program would be fooled by a mouse jiggler. 

Instead of spending so much time figuring out how to pretend to work, perhaps that energy is better spent actually working. 
I wonder if such tracking software is even needed anymore? If I wouldn’t finish my assigned tickets in the assigned time someone would notice right away. 

Also I’m thinking about Homer Simpson in Home Office where this bird tool thingy is clicking on a key :)

https://youtu.be/R_rF4kcqLkI
2021-12-10 19:24:29
Ha that's great! You're right, ideally there are productivity metrics that can be tracked. Unfortunately, many clients I work with don't even have the bare minimum in terms of tracking. 
2021-12-10 20:10:16
Working remote and async is the future. Fake work is for fake people.
2021-12-10 23:50:44
I was thinking about 
Homer Simpson
as well! lol.

I've seen the 
Basecamp
folks rallying against tracking software where they would literally just watch your face and screen (aka your webcam is always on and so is your screenshare).

I think this goes bothways. as in whenever there is a toxic relationship both sides are to blame. and in a workplace environment where the employees are fake working there's bound to be a lot of fake leadership. 

i like what 
Nedzen
said.  
2021-12-11 15:23:44
I totally agree with 
abrahamKim
if your employer doesn't trust you on the work you do, why would you trust them to be good leaders?
I think we all agree that more control doesn't necessarily produce more productivity, I think it will even slow it: "They're watching, I'm hoping I'm doing everything right" or "Oh no, they're watching again, did I do something wrong?"
2021-12-11 20:14:03