Whole


 have a tendency to avoid others when I'm not in a great mood. Who wants to burden someone else? But I do wonder if that gives the wrong impression of me. If people only see me in a good mood do they think that's how I always am?

And then I think, do I want others to avoid me when they're down? Actually, I think those are the times you get to know someone best and grow closer. You get closer to deciphering the whole person. I would rather they shared those moments if they could. But it's easier to prescribe something to someone else than do it yourself.

It's a difficult habit to shake. I don't have to share everything but there's a better balance to be found between these extremes. A balance where everyone gets to know each other better. Just as I'd like to know someone better, I'd like them to see the whole me too.
Replies to Whole
I think foundational to being vulnerable in front of others is a sense of readiness - that is to say, do you feel willing and able to cross the chasm required to be open about something you instinctually feel like you need to keep to yourself? I wonder if the balance you mention is achieved when you find specific people for which crossing this chasm is possible. 
2021-01-21 16:26:23
Yeah definitely you need to be ready to do it yourself.

I've always thought you need to find the right people but now I wonder if that's just an excuse to avoid being vulnerable. Maybe you'd have better relationships with most people if you were more open at the beginning rather than waiting to see if they are the right type of person.
2021-01-22 16:41:28
I think the possibility of needing to find the right people as an excuse is a very good point. I suppose the prudent question to ask is if there is some sort of clear, justifiable (to you) criteria for who these people are? If there aren't, perhaps it leans more towards excuse. If there are, then maybe it's just thing a person needs. 

As always, especially when it comes to deep/personal matters - to each their own :) 
2021-01-22 16:51:25
Good point. Definitely, something to think about.
2021-01-23 08:07:21