I need to not care

  • As I drove to my chiropractor a driver next to be appeared to be changing lanes into me. I honked. They didn't move, still 10 to 15 percent in my lane, they just stayed in that position. A block later they would suddenly veer left into a parking lot to execute a left-handed gas station red light cut-off, narrowly missing a car in the lane they veered across.
  • The freedom to drive like you don't care what happens, to live not caring what happens...that's what alcohol gives people, what normies get to continue to enjoy in small, responsibly-guardrailed or supervised settings, but alcoholics must remember, relive, or recreate in their histories, stories, or sex lives. Part of what unites alcoholics is that knowledge of what happens when those guardrails of caring come off, and for most of us the guardrails are only partially reconstructed and we continue to drive as if no-one has a deductible, as if we live in a moneyless society where bad behavior isn't punished with police reports and insurance claims.
  • I've lost my wallet today. I can't remember the last time I lost or even misplaced my wallet. As I was leaving work for said chiropractor appointment I realized it wasn't in the right-front pocket where it lives every day, all day. I have no idea where it is, or how it got there. It could be on the floor somewhere. Someone might have picked it up. It could be somewhere I set it, although I doubt that, although if I did set it down and promptly forgot about having taken said action, it would confirm my suspicions that I am experiencing some early-onset brain malfunction. Maybe it's in the pants I wore yesterday. That would be a relief. But I have a memory of grabbing it off of the windowsill next to the front door this morning, that being one of the two places I normally place it when I arrive home. Wherever it might be, I now get to hunt for it, not knowing if it is even in this location, and when I don't find it, I get to worry about if and when it might show up, and what I'll have to do if it doesn't.
  • I need to not care.

UPDATE: I immediately found my wallet on the floorboard of my car. But now I've absentmindedly brought it upstairs to my desk--NOT one of the two places I normally place it--inevitably leading to confusion tomorrow morning when I look for my wallet. I will NOT make a separate trip downstairs to appropriately stow said wallet, however.
2022-07-12 22:40:31
can relate to the wallet situation -- you can also sub in car keys, apartment keys, garage remote, my eye mask, and formerly AirPods (caved and bought an air tag). 

all things that i carelessly and mindlessly place into random spots/crevices of my 1100 sq ft of real estate. 

i am screwed if i move to a larger place. 
2022-07-13 18:28:41
There's a 
story about a Mr. Hilary who is causing a ruckus because he can't find his glasses. He literally turns his house over looking for them. By the end he discovers that the glasses are on his head.

Funny that my gf told me that the point of this story is to teach kids not to take things personally when adults freak out over things. Lol
2022-07-13 23:38:51
that exact story happened to me except the glasses were in my hand. 

My cousin asked me: "what's wrong?"

Me: "I can't find my fucking glasses"

Cousin: *points to my hand*
2022-07-14 18:06:58
Reminds me of this tip: Put things back where you first looked for them, not where you found them.
2022-07-15 14:32:39