The new guy never did anything. Well, never anything that helped the team. Instead he would ask questions to busy team members, questions that sounded smart and important upon first listen, but it was only after the conversation was over and you had wasted twenty minutes of your time in some
non-sequitur
that you realized that the question actually had no substance.
The new guy wasted his first few weeks like this because he had insider information. According to his manager's manager, who happened to be his friend in real life,
McDonalds
didn't take your first six weeks' performance into consideration. You literally could do nothing and not have it impact you. After that six week mark, then there'd be consequences.
Such a strange policy, Max thought, while zipping up his pants. He was taking a long bathroom break. Before heading back to his terminal to watch the workers. The company policy was that they would take no data on the new hires until that six week mark. Though they would still be in the footage, the monitoring employees just wouldn't be able to record any data on them.
Max was so bored though that on a separate machine that wasn't monitored by the company he recorded what the new guy was doing. this is my life now, he thought to himself. So bored at work that I do extra things at work that I'm not supposed to be doing.
After washing his hands for thirty seconds he walked slowly down the hall hoping to run into a coworker, thinking, who watches the watchers? They must have someone watching him now he thought.
Fire me, he thought to himself, if you're watching me fire me for taking a piss for twenty minutes.