Once he got stomach 

cancer

he began recounting how many meals he had had without ever being truly grateful. Now his time was limited. But everyone's time was that way wasn't it? Since the day they were born. Nobody lived forever. Although some people wanted to live as long as possible. Maybe everyone did?

Andrew had moments when he thought. Damn if I died right now, I'd have gone at a good point. I'd be okay with dying. But after time passed he'd no longer feel that way. He'd feel like he didn't want to die any more. Not that he wanted to die before. Just that had he died he wouldn't have felt like his 

life

was a waste. But why would that feeling never last? What did it say about him that after having felt like that he'd have months where he'd desperately fear death, knowing he would be unhappy dying without having done all the things he wanted.

If one did everything they wanted then would they be okay with dying? Would they go just like that? He thought of this as he sat down with an espresso at the 

Vietnamese

restaurant. The only place where he still drunk 

espresso

, like in the old days. No matter how much it hurt his stomach.