Always something, 

Imogen Howe

thought. Life never gave her a smooth day.

She began to giggle. Finally realized what that saying meant. "Give me a break!"

She couldn't stop the giggling. Wished Keith was there to see her now. "I finally get it!" she would tell him. "What?" he would say with a brow raised. "The saying. That saying!"

And then after she explained he would chuckle and tell her that everybody already knew what that saying meant. But he wouldn't make her feel bad for it. He made her feel like a little girl again. And for that she felt Keith was special.

If she could see him again she'd finally go through with it. Divorce Alan and tell Keith that she didn't care whether he wanted to marry her or not. She was done with her ex husband. Her was-band. She would start a new. No more hedging bets.

This is what she wanted now. Had wanted since the trip out west that time to the 

Seaside Rest

. But she couldn't get in touch with him. Where the fuck was he?

A deep worry brewed inside her. She was unwell. Talking to Calvin about it raised her spirits temporarily. But even she couldn't have imagined its effects to vanish this fast. Sitting in that 

Kroger

parking lot she felt stone sober. Sober in a bad way. Harsh reality with no soft lighting to filter.

Deliberately taking a few deep breaths, she pumped herself up to get out of the car and head into the Kroger. She usually got 

toilet paper

 elsewhere, but today she would get it here. She needed to return to the cafe fast.