keni

We both grew up looking at weddings the same way. Or at least I started finding weddings a tragic waste of money and time especially given that the people around me didn't have that much money to spend. My opinion could've remained about money but I saw it going so far as to even watch myself proudly claiming that I thought weddings were an outright waste of time. Not just money but the time invested as well.

I just met with

williamliao

this week and I shared how my views on ceremonies have changed. The example I used was

birthdays

. While birthday ceremonies aren't expensive as weddings I still resented the fact the pressure I felt to have to celebrate. I never disliked it when others invited me to their birthday ceremonies, though sometimes I might find it annoying or inconvenient, but this imagined obligation that I had to do something special on my birthday irked me.

What changed my mind recently was letting go of this idea that the birthday was about me.  More listening to my surroundings and accepting that my birthday wasn't about me. The people around me want to have special occasions to express feelings they have for you. And I was being selfish by trying to act like I was better than tradition.

Special days aren't something to scoff at. Does that mean I want to let corporations and outdated societal norms dictate what days are special for me? No. But I no longer put on a pedestal this imagined lifestyle where no day is special and thus everyday is. That was just me being

pseudo-zen

.

Does this mean I think spending insane amounts of money on celebrations is justified? Sure if you got the dough to blow then that's fine, but for most I don't think so. But do I spend my time grieving about how stupid such traditions are and how society would be so much better without it? Nah.