what it takes for Self-love

two nights ago, when I was falling asleep, an idea came to my mind; what if I love myself? And so, I spent a few moments with this thought. What was there to be loved? I kept looking for reasons; maybe I should love myself for my sportive achievements, or for my artistic tallents or maybe because I am a good boyfriend, a good child etc. What if I'm not? All of a sudden a bunch of memories came into my mind; situations where I could have acted differently, choices I made that where pivotal for my destiny. All of a sudden, I realised how silly it was to think I need to be worthy of my own love, I didn't need those reasons, or any other reason. I could just doit. Love  does not require a raison d'etre. Love just is, like a natural emergent phenomena within people. It emerges and then it dies down. Just like that without much external control.

It might seam like a somewhat romantic idea of love that I have but what is the opposite? Choice. I choose to love this or that person for this or that reason. It becomes transactional.
LMAO based on what you've told me you are definitely not a good boyfriend! just kidding, that's a joke, but all jokes are grounded in reality! so let's have a laugh at that.

This post made me think of love differently than how i usually do though. I was always on the boat of preaching for self-love... no matter what. Kind of in the same vein 
Sam Harris

But reading this for the first time I thought about self-love being good but self-neutrality being best. I feel like loving others is noble... but when it comes to ourselves... maybe we should live without judging ourselves. as in neither negative/positive judgement.

Don't focus on the love of yourself. Just focus the love of others. But how do you achieve that? I'm beginning to think by focusing on your path. Usuaully here is where i'd say focus on yourself... like focus on your craft/career... but i'm juxtaposing such to the focus of one's path... of who one's becoming rather than just this romantic self infatuation.
2021-08-12 15:49:48