Our mutual friend had told us not to take more than a gram each. Brad was inclined to listen to the instructions, but I insisted based on my past experience, which I was pridefully bullish on, that an eighth was the minimum viable dose.
If you want to actually trip you have to take at least an eighth!
After that trip I wondered many things. One of them was me wondering why I cared so much about this dichotomy between not-tripping and tripping. Couldn't you just take a bit of shrooms and feel a bit high and be okay with that? Why this obsession with having to break through?
I remember my first time taking
LSD
, I'd only taken one hit from an untrusted source. Wasn't a dangerous dose but a weak one that left me feeling high, but without that psychedelic breakthrough I still felt like I was in the same room with the same people. At the time I'd never broken through so I didn't even know what it would feel like, but I knew that this wasn't it.
This had let me down a lot. I'd planned to have this trippy experience and all I got was something probably more akin to having smoke a bit of weed and an
adderall
. But then again, why care?
I remember when Zach told me he had acid I got so excited.
"Do you want to trip with me?"
Hell yeah! I was without doubt. Acid was something I'd never been wanting to do until that point. I hadn't even done
shrooms
at the time, but when Zach casually suggested acid something in my mind clicked. I suddenly needed to be somebody who did acid.
I think the best sellers realize this simple truth: that people aren't seeking products or services... People don't want things. What they are seeking is a better version of themselves. What better means is highly subjective of course, but whether someone's buying a gym membership or a six pack of coke they are seeking what they consider as better.
To my friends I appeared unmaterialistic. I didn't shop for new things like my friends did, never became excited about some new clothes or toy that was coming out. I imagine them assuming my detachment from materialistic desires to come from a place of strength like I'm some illuminated person who doesn't need that stuff. But this wasn't true at all. I still had the same underlying desires they had. The desire to become the better version of myself. I just didn't see that salvation coming from things like they might've. I wasn't going to be the better me by getting a new laptop or a car. I wasn't going to become the better me by getting a new wardrobe. What I really needed was to do acid.
Sounds crazy, but hey I was only 18 years old, can you blame someone that young and dumb? Maybe. I used to blame that guy too. But now that I'm a bit older I don't blame him.
But we wanted to breakthrough for two reasons right? One was genuine curiosity for what such experience would be like. and the other was to be proud of being someone who broke through.... proud to return to the plebs and let them know
sometimes i think the underlying for the latter isn't necessarily gone, you're just not in contact with that many people that frequently anymore where you don't feel as present of a need to do so
I used to think other people might feel the way I do under psychedelics but then one day someone told me: "It's not the mushrooms that gave you that experience, it's your mind under the influence of mushrooms that opened you up to the experience you had" That was an aha moment, and from that moment on, I stopped talking so much about how extraordinary these substances are.
You desiring to become a better you is a good intention to set pre-tripping 👍
we wanted to break through because we wanted to be different
I BROKE THROUGHHHHHH
yeah, half for us half for them. not a bad balance but sometimes i think it was more the former than the latter
sometimes i think the underlying for the latter isn't necessarily gone, you're just not in contact with that many people that frequently anymore where you don't feel as present of a need to do so
You desiring to become a better you is a good intention to set pre-tripping 👍