Then before Alan could reply, "why haven't you been replying? You've been... weird."
Alan suddenly forgot about his lost friend. Only
Imogen Howe
mattered now. He tried hiding his emotions from Aaron. But Aaron was too bored with looking for Jack now that he could tell everything.
"Imogen eh?"
Damn, Alan thought. "Well I guess this search is over then," Aaron laughed.
"We should try again tomorrow. I need to sleep anyways."
"You mean Sleep with Imogen?"
"No. At my mom's"
Aaron stared at him for a moment then looked away without moving his head.
"Say you don't got a smoke for me?" Aaron asked.
Alan took two out. Might as well join.
Aaron took out a zippo and offered to light Alan's first.
The two of them exhaled at the same time into the air. Their smoke crossed paths under the full
moon
.
They took drags in silence. They had repeated the same things about Jack the past few hours. In a loop. Now that the search was over there was nothing to say. Except for about one topic. The one Alan wanted to avoid.
"You know I fucked her?"
This made Alan's stomach sink. Like he was going down a roller coaster.
"Well not fucked her. But close enough. Her pussy stank."
Alan didn't want to take another drag. He wanted to punch Aaron. But Aaron was looking at him through a side glance. The big guy didn't have a care in the world. If Alan tried decking him Aaron could take a side step, push Alan to the ground with one hand, and return to his next drag off the cigarette without losing a breath.
Alan simply shook his head. Through the cigarette into the thin layer of snow. Stepped it out and went to the car. It was Alan's GMC
SUV
. They had driven here together. Aaron took a drag off his cigarette and called out to him.
"You know I'm kidding right?"
Alan acted pissed. But he was relieved. Of course Aaron was kidding. He was always yanking people's chain. Especially his.
"You shouldn't let people make you feel so bad, man." Aaron said. "It'll kill you inside."
Alan resented this preaching. He imagined turning around and asking "who the hell are you to be giving advice? You're fucking back from
New York
, drinking in your dad's basement doing nothing with your life."
He imagined saying this until he was pulled out of a dream. Aaron snubbed his
cigarette
out into the snow gently using his fingers. Then he got back up and walked towards him. As he passed by he said, "it'll kill you on the inside. Trust me. I know."