For the rest of his stay at The 

Seaside Rest

he never settled into a routine. Each day he did something new and different. This was a nice change from his regular life. A thousand miles east he did the same thing everyday. Wake up, eat a quick breakfast, drive to the 

Affordable Inn

, get back, eat dinner alone while watching TV, and then pass out while scrolling the internet.

That routine made him not feel alive. Like he disappeared into the schedule. Like there was no point in him being alive. At the Seaside he felt alive. It was a weird feeling. He hadn't felt it since probably around high school.

It seemed like so much was happening back then. The slightest thing would excite him. Like being randomly invited to hang out for the first time at a friend's house after school. One time he was waiting by the weight room twirling his keys back and forth. He didn't want to go home but he had no plans. Jim Phillips had happened to walk by. "Blake you're still here? what are you up to?"

"You wanna go to Connor's?"

Blake talked to Jim Phillips in class. Sometimes in the hall. But they weren't friends enough to talk outside of that. Back then social media wasn't a thing so you really didn't text people unless they were somewhat close to you. There wasn't this culture yet of random people commenting on each other constantly. Always watching each other digitally.

At this time Blake didn't even have Jim's phone number in his phone. Blake was even less close to Connor. But Connor and Jim were close. And on this afternoon Jim Phillips needed a ride. This is how Blake got invited over to Connor's house for the first time.

Connor's parents were never around after school. A lot of guys. would go there and do practically nothing. Just lay around the couch watching tv and making jokes. Sometimes smoke a little weed. But little things like this would excite Blake.

Nothing like that anymore. And so the Seaside Rest was a fresh awakening. A bit of a rude awakening as well to notice such a stark difference from his adult life and his adolescence. Why didn't he feel alive anymore? This was a sad question.

He wished 

Imogen Howe

 was still around. Still here. She might be able to help him understand himself better. Reading those last two words she sent was one of the things he did everyday now. The closest thing he had to a routine while staying at the seaside rest was that.