Forward Too

There were other possibilities to his life. He imagined them at some times when he laid in bed. That summer when he swam laps around that pool. He had dreams of doing an iron man. He wondered if in some ways he was trying to out swim the loneliness. That summer not on purpose but just because became a summer where all of his friends were gone. Or even when they were there he had to work his job so he’d see them, but they be off with other friends. Or also any plan he had made before the break had been broken. One of his friends girlfriend needed him in Miami. And another friends parents left suddenly an early trip so he had to stay and watch the house. But also he couldn’t have friends over. 

He was met this social defeat so many times he just kind of gave up contacting anyone. YouTube became his friend. Even his house which had technically 3 other guys living there, he never saw them. One of their jobs fell through. The others never answered the group chat. 

So that summer he had never felt that feeling before. And he just sort of did things to pass the time. Not trying to make it go faster, because he didn’t have anything to look forward too.