Hello

Writing community fam.

I had to step away some weeks ago for health reasons. I want to say thank you to all the people that reached out and checked up on me. It was great to hear from this community at that difficult time. 

This started about mid January. My OURA ring kept telling me that something was off. Way before I felt anything, the ring said that my body wasn't ok. But my first and only fear was that I had COVID. But I tested negative repeatedly. And after what seemed like weeks of having many symptoms, I finally found out what was wrong. I had to take time away to understand the problem and what I needed to do. It isn't a take a pill and get cured type of a situation so I have to work on my long term mindset and assess where I invest my time and energy. 

I have missed writing my thoughts on a daily basis. It is interesting how I found myself composing a post in my mind almost every single night. Such extreme type of incidents tend to bring out the most creative side in me. As I edited my posts in my head, I thought about how this community would have responded to them. 

I wanted to write about the health care system in the US. 
I wanted to write about the impact of relentless stress. 
I wanted to write about pain and suffering. 
I wanted to write about guilt - guilt for being responsible for causing pain to the people that I love. 

More than ever before, I worked hard to control my mind. With doctors, needles and bad news coming at me non-stop, I needed more than ever to learn how to guide my thoughts. I worked hard to limit everything I was exposed to. I am still working on stopping my mind from the infinite loops of thoughts that aren't optimistic. 

This recent episode is without doubt the hardest thing I have had to experience. And it doesn't have an end date. But I am getting better and learning how to deal with it. I am making some dramatic and permanent changes in my life cause at the end, nothing matters more than health. NOTHING.
So glad to have you back. I was elated when I saw your face on the home page. 

Gary Vee always talks about how that besides the health of yourself and the most important people around you there is nothing else that's really important. Things like money, good work that you love, and etc are all just nice to haves. As long as you and yours are healthy everything is well. That's why what they say when they drink is not cheers like in the states but a saying that means to your health.

I have a feeling that this episode and pivot is making you more able to be honest. I had been sensing a lot of stress in these past months where I thought maybe you had an image of how you thought your life ought to be and the reality was crushing it and it was disheartening. I think what you're doing now is recalibrating. It's nice
2021-03-02 14:45:56
So glad to see you back! This sounds like an experience that has fundamentally changed you, and I believe that you will emerge stronger and better. 
2021-03-02 17:04:41
Thank you guys. It is a significant event and it is changing me intensely....mostly for the better. I appreciate the kind welcome. 
2021-03-03 18:53:15
How did I miss this. I can totally picture doing what you did — composing ideas, hoping / expecting for a few comments. It's nice to have even a little community.

If it's helpful, lean on us where it makes sense.
2021-03-03 19:42:35

Retrospective