Growing up Blue never imagined what it would be like to lose somebody. By the time it hit him, he had lost three.

Growing up all he could imagine was how someone was wronging him. How the other person could be doing better. He spent a lot of time being 

spiteful

.

That one time when he went away for a few months was going to be the final time. After that he'd take a break. A long one. Once he was rested he'd get a regular job. He almost cried on that drive back through the neighborhood. Something was off about it. The color or something or the rhythm of the block.

Once he noticed that there was no turning back. All his excitement about returning home, and spending the rest of his 

life

with his 

family

evaporated. He tried telling himself that he was being crazy. That of course they would be there. But he didn't believe himself.

The driveway was empty. The house was too. There was no note. No texts. He thought about calling them. That'd be the first thing one ought to do when they were wondering where their family was. But he didn't want to find out the truth. So long as he didn't call, he could pretend that they were out, few minutes away, picking up a pizza or something. That they'd be coming through the door and he'd hear his kids yell "daddy!" and they would all enjoy dinner together. Finally.