The first thing Dave noticed about the kid beside him were
khaki
pants. The beige draped the long legs not too snug, not too loose. He wore a polo of mid bright green, its cotton almost thick as a thin sweatshirt. The fabric looked soft. The kid had most likely bought the clothes without considering how expensive they'd be for other students. He probably had well off parents. Well off enough that he could swipe their credit card without doing math.
Dave had parents who paid for everything. Not like he got anything luxurious. But Dave never had to worry about covering
rent
,
tuition
, or
groceries
. All of those things took care of themselves. He sometimes forgot that not all of the kids at school had such a setup. A lot of them could only find housing at certain price ranges. They couldn't afford to go out every weekend and buy
booze
. And yet even though many of his friends were in such a situation, they still somehow managed to do it. Managed to be broke and get a house that was walking distance from the university. Manage to go out and buy drinks and buy restaurant food past 12. Dave sometimes read about people who had six figures of
student debt
. Wondered whether any of his old
college
friends were in such a situation.
It was never obvious how well Dave had it in school. He could only think of himself as not being fortunate due to the fact that he didn't drive a Benz or lived in one of those luxury apartments.
Now that he was visiting a college campus after decades away it became clear to him where he sat on the level of fortune. And now his only ambition was to provide an even higher starting point for his children. Ambition may have been the wrong word. For that would imply he was driven with desire to provide such privilege to his kids. He was in fact not. He had thought about running away from it all. Going someplace no one knew him. And spending his days doing nothing productive.
He read about people who would go out into the wilderness and build their own cabins. Live off the earth. Dave never dreamed of living such a way if he were to run away. Instead he would disappear completely. He would spend his days going on aimless walks and pointless drives. He would watch movies and read books. He would strike up random conversations with people at diners and bars. But he would never ever write anything and publish it. He would never make and album and release it. He would do his decades on earth and then disappear into the ether.
The kid in the khakis and the high quality, smooth, cotton polo stared away from him and back off into the distance. Looking at the passerby on the street.
"It means it's too late to get on the ship."
"You can always catch the next one."
"The phrase comes from a time when there were very few ships. You'd need to wait another season for your next chance. By then your chance may have gone."
"Do chances in life really go by that fast?"
"Maybe back then."
"And today?"
"The literal phrase wouldn't work today. Like you said. There'll be a new ship or plane leaving that day. Or the next day at the latest."
"I wish I was around back then."
"You wish you lived at a time when chances were fewer?"
"It's easier to have less choices."
Dave brought the cup of
rooibos
up to his lips. Stared at the kid from the side.
"People don't get overwhelmed by the actual circumstances. They become overwhelmed by the decision making. Look at
Nelson Mandela
. He knew he had to sit in prison and he just did it. But someone else who's still trying to juggle a million possibilities. Now that man is suffering."
"Mm, you may have a point there. Do you know of the two arrows concept?"
The kid looked over to him now with a bratty pout. Nodded to say, tell me more.
"It's this idea that when bad things happen to us, that we feel that bad thing more than once because we cause ourselves to suffer. So we get hit by the literal arrow. And then we get hit by our lamenting of the actual arrow. That's the second arrow."
"Neat."
"Yeah."
"What's that? Like eastern?"
"Yeah. Buddhist."
The kid had already returned to staring out into the street. Dave did the same.
"So you need some weed?"
Dave had forgotten about that. He had gotten distracted by the
two arrows
, and the ship sailing. Of course if this kid had made a remark about Dave saying 'that ship has sailed' then he must've also heard about him wanting weed.
"I don't sell any of that stuff. But my housemates do. Also if you're just looking to get high I can smoke you down if it's just a one time thing."