Abe's Blog

The 4th Decade coffee starry-eyed milk Kurt Vonnegut

30s are tough from a lot of my reading. A lot of significant events tend to happen then. The one that becomes stressful is that you are expected to make very long term decisions. Like a partner, career, house and maybe even legacy :). 
keni


For the same reasons Keni highlights, I'm thrilled for my 4th decade. Then again her perspective is one of somebody who's just gotten out of it (or is getting out of it) while I've just gotten used to the water. I understand that come 2031 I may be sharing her sentiment with another
starry-eyed
young buck.

I hope not though. Objectively I believe in the same things Keni points out. I guess I'm more excited about it than I am daunted or fearful. Maybe that's the difference between starting something and finishing something. In the former perspective everything uncertain feels like opportunity whereas in the latter you look back at all your choices and may feel the burden of I could've done better. I should've done better.

One thing Keni's email has had me thinking all morning is questioning why she highlights the 30s so much as having significant events. I thought back to all my previous decades and thought they were stock filled with significant events. What's the point in highlighting this one decade then? As my hand touched the carton of
milk
that I was about to sprinkle into my 
coffee
I thought maybe it's the last decade with significant events that solidify as foundations for the rest of your life. For most people at least. There are those outliers who still make life-changing decisions in later decades but for the most part it seems that 30s is your last chance that you can do these two things:

  1. Ask yourself, is this who you really want to be? Is this the life you want to live?
  2. And do something about it

If a person survives an ordinary span of sixty years or more, there is every chance that his or her life as a shapely story has ended and all that remains to be experienced is epilogue. Life is not over, but the story is
Kurt Vonnegut



Just to caveat, your 30s are your 4th decade. This confuses people sometimes. But from birth to 10 is your first decade. 10-20 is your second. 20-30 is your third. A lot of people feel so much older when they realize this.
Mike Tiura
I think I agree. Every decade felt like I was making life-altering decisions and then... the next decade came and I had to make new life-altering decisions. 

My impression so far is that you can start something new and life-changing at any age. 

Start an Etsy at 22. Quit your job and live in a van at 35. Do a line of coke and start a business at 50. Anything is possible. 
2021-10-29 15:45:08
Keni
Sir Abe, I actually heard about the 30s being a stressful period from a radio talk show host. The main point was that there are long term consequences to decisions we make during that time. In addition, the one thing the talk show host mentioned that is true for many people - is the decline and sometimes death of their parents. Since usually this happens while having children (which is also not easy - even if its exciting) - it becomes a lot of responsibilities all at once.

It is a great attitude to look forward to big things and not worry about making bad decisions. 
2021-10-30 02:09:17

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