13 Reasons Why

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So, two episodes ago, I started watching 13 Reasons Why ("Tote Mädchen Lügen Nicht" - "Dead Girls don't lie"). It has been on my watchlist since it came out. I remember it releasing an enormous “scream” in public.

But I came back to it a different way. Recently I started binging...
Your desire for 
... going deep on something is juxtaposed to the more philisophical-flaneur type in the end example of 
New Yorker
to books hopping.

Somedays I just spend intellectually flanuering. Somedays I just grind on work and GET SHIT DONE. And somedays I am in craftsperson mode.

It's weird, but anytime i feel like i can't do either of the above I feel existential dread. Reading this post I'm sure you can relate. 

But what's another weird thing is that I sometimes get tricked. Like sometimes when i'm sick of the grind I might feel compelled to believe that I only want to flanuer around or only want to be in a craftsmanship haven. But that's not true either.

It's difficult to figure out which balance is right. especially since often we're still paying off outstanding debts to obtaining further clarity. 
Abraham Kim