She would be gone soon. Back to the smell and taste of fresh bread in the morning. To feeling dirt under her feet as she walked. Having a

town square

to walk to rather than the aimless, destination-less walking she did now to keep from going crazy. Back to sleeping on a rock created by

God

rather than a hunk of metal engineered by man flying in

space

.

Having spent years waiting for this, it felt less real now that the date was fast approaching. Samantha from HR had given a friendly reminder. "You know you could enlist for another term. Even another half term if you're not ready to go back yet."

It brought her 

shame

, but she had considered it. Staying awhile longer. Though she knew that was impossible. Her entire family awaited her return. She knew it was unrealistic to stay up here. So why even consider it? A fantasy. That was all it was. She had spent much of her time imagining. Stuck in her head. This was opposite her office wall mate. Keith was never in his head. Lived only in what he was doing right then and there. She admired this about him. Though on her worst days, it drove her mad that she couldn't be more like that

If she had no family would she stay out here longer? Yes. But for how long. She didn't know. She only knew she didn't want to die up here. However she didn't know when between now and death she would want to ever return. She was finding it harder to wake up early these days. She dragged herself out from her room. Prepared for the day. Then headed to her office. Keith was already there. Though he looked a little too disheveled to have only been there for two or so hours.

"You get in really early?"

"No. I've been up all night."

"What? Why?"

Keith looked around and then motioned for Marianna to come closer. He whispered, "I can't find my guy."

"What? Who?"

"You know. the guy. the guy that Cal and I began intervening in."