In A look into how a reaction and response are formed I wrote a step by step process of how I processed

therealbrandonwilson

's suggestion that community is more important than a consistent writing habit.

In his comment is a truth: the community here is lacking. There really is none, Phew that felt good to write.

Before I didn't like the idea of this. I wanted it to be false. But recently I've been able to accept it inside my own head but accepting it out loud like this felt like another step. But it feels relieving and empowering to do so because it allows me to just figure out how to remedy the truth instead of coming up with narratives of why the truth is false.

I haven't written any code for

Adagia

for a long long time. After entering the

Echo and Narcissus

writing club I saw how little I knew about the theory of helping another person write consistently. So I've been thinking less about the code and more about the underlying processes to code.

But now I'm about to get back to trying some of the things with code so more changes to come.

I think this is what makes it so hard for people to work on a project. It is too easy to take things personally and try to come up with stories of why what other people see isn't true and they just don't get it. It's harder to take that data and go, okay what can I do with that?

PS: I still have strong relationships with a lot of you on here and I cherish those. But that's between you and me. I mis-took that before as a general sense of community on this site rather than just a regular old relationship. A 

community

would be more widespread relationships between all of you independent of a node like me.