Today I will stop riding quarterback's coattails and write something that's on my mind without being directly linked to reading one of his posts!
I've been thinking a lot about this notion of superiority. Nowadays... or maybe it's been always this way... we like to try to imagine there being no hierarchy. I mean it's obvious there are hierarchies when you define the scope: let's say a hierarchy of power or attractiveness or morality or whatever you lens you want to use. But saying that people are unequal is considered taboo. And for bad reason since explicit highlighting of huan inequality has almost always been used for shitty things.
But I got to thinking two weekends ago about highlighting inequality for good things. The thought came to me after chatting with somebody who I admire. I'd say I see myself in him but he's maybe a decade a head of me. I've only chatted with him once so I can't say that I know him personally, but in the lens I'm wearing when admiring him (
ontology
) I can feel that he's superior to me. He's a head of me, more practiced, and wiser. I know that I'm standing nearby someone I can learn from. And though I have things that he could learn from, he has more to teach me than that I him.
I was listening to the birds sing that Saturday afternoon when I thought of how sad it was to try to believe that we are equal. Not because I think that such a thought is inherently sad, but for how such a ideology seeps into our thinking. As in if you don't think there are levels to development... superiority... then how can we ever expect to improve ourselves? Isn't self development just a metamorphosis from one version of ourselves into something better?
When it comes to human inequality I think it's best to not use it to keep scores interpersonally. I think the true effectiveness comes when used intrapersonally.
Seeing someone as superior is detrimental to your own self-image, as it happens. You judge someone to be better than you or superior by gauging that to your own capacities. Not the best because it makes you be intimidated, coping with overflowing emotions. A few things that worked for me on some occasions: 1) Ask questions, acknowledge this as a unique opportunity to know that person better; motivation, discipline, routine, or whatever you're curious about. 2) Realise that it's also the perspective that matters, and sometimes more than skill. Therefore, your perspective and his/her perspective are unique and equally valuable, so no reason to feel better or worse.
I was just watching the JRE with Snoop and saw Joe Rogan like a kid in the candy store, happy to be there in the presence of one of the greatest, Snoop. He was clearly losing it towards the end; that's in part because they've been smoking and drinking during the entire show. They were both smashed. I think this episode could have been better.
You know this is the thing I should've caveated. Lately i've been in the presence of people i consider superior -- within a particular domain -- and it never made me feel bad about myself. I always just felt motivated
I do think that seeing someone as 'superior' in the absolute term is a recipe for unhappiness.
I guess i just have too big of an ego to ever think someone is ever better than me 'absolutely' lol.
I think it takes a certain type of personality to be ok with people being better/superior than you but it doesn't affect your self esteem.
The argument against social media is exactly for that reason. Seeing other people project a perfect life that no one can match is a recipe for depression and anxiety.
On the other hand, motivational and inspirational things tend to show us that anything is possible. When we see shows, talks, books where an underdog does something big, we put ourselves in their situation and it motivates us to work harder.
I think it is a difficult balance to see superiority in others as a source of inspiration or anxiety.
quarterback
1) Ask questions, acknowledge this as a unique opportunity to know that person better; motivation, discipline, routine, or whatever you're curious about.
2) Realise that it's also the perspective that matters, and sometimes more than skill. Therefore, your perspective and his/her perspective are unique and equally valuable, so no reason to feel better or worse.
I was just watching the JRE with Snoop and saw Joe Rogan like a kid in the candy store, happy to be there in the presence of one of the greatest, Snoop. He was clearly losing it towards the end; that's in part because they've been smoking and drinking during the entire show. They were both smashed. I think this episode could have been better.
I do think that seeing someone as 'superior' in the absolute term is a recipe for unhappiness.
I guess i just have too big of an ego to ever think someone is ever better than me 'absolutely' lol.
I think it takes a certain type of personality to be ok with people being better/superior than you but it doesn't affect your self esteem.
The argument against social media is exactly for that reason. Seeing other people project a perfect life that no one can match is a recipe for depression and anxiety.
On the other hand, motivational and inspirational things tend to show us that anything is possible. When we see shows, talks, books where an underdog does something big, we put ourselves in their situation and it motivates us to work harder.
I think it is a difficult balance to see superiority in others as a source of inspiration or anxiety.