Brandon Wilson @therealbrandonwilson

Brandon Wilson last shared their writing PTO Donation
I saw a post on the website Cheezburger.com, which somehow floated to my SmartNews feed. First of all, writing a paragraph and then posting screenprints of comments from social media does not count as anything close to a news story. Nevertheless, since I have personal experience with the topic, I...
Brandon's Pantry
🍣 23 Sushis
🧇 22 Waffles
🥟 21 Dumplings
🍪 12 Cookies
🥚 29 Eggs
🍓 14 Strawberries
🥓 31 Bacons
🍺 23 Beers
🍫 22 Chocolate Bars
🥃 24 Whiskeys
☕️ 26 Coffees
🥩 20 Steaks
🍊 22 Tangerines
🍵 26 Teas
🍍 18 Pineapples
Collections

Hands

For nearly a year, I have dealt with varying degrees of pain in my hands, specifically my fingers. It happened before I had Everyone's Favorite Virus™️ in January, but after I took the jab a year ago. Thankfully, I don't feel it when I type. I feel it when I...
🍊
2022-08-27 12:50:36

Costco coupon

"Do you need to stock up on toilet paper? It's on coupon right now."

"Sure might as well."

"You can just take it out of the cost for those racks I asked about."

"I can't find the one you sent for $34.99. When I search for that exact one on Amazon, I see...
🍊
2022-08-05 13:53:31

Mega Millions

"You see the Mega Millions is up to over a Bil?"

"Oh yah. I got my tickets."

"Quick pick?"

"I picked two sets of numbers and then quick pick for the other three."

"Why waste time picking numbers? It's all random anyway."

"There's no such thing as truly random in this world, especially where...
🍺
2022-07-29 19:19:52

I'll keep my dumb home

The "smart home" movement is hailed as a great advancement in using technology to make our lives easier. The price we pay for such convenience is the risk of more things going wrong.

Take the latest innovation in which "smart locks" will power themselves entirely through your cell phone. This is...
🍵
2022-07-22 15:17:49

Who cares??

I see reports that President Joe Biden has tested positive for Everyone's Favorite Virus™️. One report even stated that this was a "shocking development." What's so shocking about it? The media keep beating us over the head saying the infection rate and hospitalizations are on the rise due to *insert...
🍣
2022-07-21 21:06:43

The masked singer

There's some show called The Masked Singer, where "celebrities" don costumes and judges try to guess who they are. I say "celebrities" because I think they've gone all the way down to F-list at this point.

I started pondering why no artist has decided to sing while wearing a facemask....
🥃
2022-07-20 23:32:05

Work business or pleasure

"Hey, how do you spell Aracely's last name? I can't find her email."

"Oh, actually she is listed as Norma on her email."

"Norma? That's unexpected."

"Yah, I don't know what the deal is there."

"Here I was thinking she was maybe kinda cute, and now I have the picture that she's some waitress...
🍫
2022-07-19 20:57:16

The Michael Jordan of...

A buddy of mine was over this weekend, and we started watching The Last Dance. I had already seen it, but my buddy, who is an NBA fan, said he'd only seen "bits and pieces."

Aside 1 - What exactly is the content consumption strategy that leads to seeing "bits and...
🥃
2022-07-17 19:39:54

Heardle

"I got today's Wordle in three tries."

"I haven't played in months."

"Why not? That's right up your alley."

"I was playing before it got sold off to the New York Times. Something got botched during the transition, and they screwed up my streak so that was the end of that."

"Who cares? It's...
🍍
2022-07-15 15:02:55

Don't change your password on a Friday

"What's with the notifications to change my password? Every time I turn around my password is about to expire and I have to reset it."

"That's the company policy. Change password every 30 days."

"So annoying. And same with the lock-out time. Four minutes?!? Give me a break."

"I already asked the question...
🧇
2022-07-14 15:48:38