Brandon Wilson @therealbrandonwilson

Brandon Wilson last shared their writing PTO Donation
I saw a post on the website Cheezburger.com, which somehow floated to my SmartNews feed. First of all, writing a paragraph and then posting screenprints of comments from social media does not count as anything close to a news story. Nevertheless, since I have personal experience with the topic, I...
Brandon's Pantry
🍣 23 Sushis
🧇 22 Waffles
🥟 21 Dumplings
🍪 12 Cookies
🥚 29 Eggs
🍓 14 Strawberries
🥓 31 Bacons
🍺 23 Beers
🍫 22 Chocolate Bars
🥃 24 Whiskeys
☕️ 26 Coffees
🥩 20 Steaks
🍊 22 Tangerines
🍵 26 Teas
🍍 18 Pineapples
Collections

Highlight of the week

My highlight of the week was the announcement of a scientific breakthrough. What delighted me the most was not the ground-breaking advancement in medical science but the use of two extraordinary phrases in the same headline.

We've all had a bout of diarrhea at one time or another, but "unshakeable diarrhea"...
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2022-12-03 01:58:01

I don't care if you quit Twitter

I noticed a new pattern of inane headlines replacing the previous ones. Let's talk about that last useless headlines.

Remember at the height of the pandemic when the media blasted out daily death tolls for COVID? Never mind the distinction between dying of COVID vs. dying with COVID. We now have...
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2022-12-01 13:37:38

So much for Bloke

Lately, I've had a morbid fascination with prices. I blame the "Black Friday" craze and all the supposed discounts. 
I made my usual trip to the local Piggly Wiggly to pick up some provisions. Thankfully, I did not encounter the dreaded static electric shopping cart. I did encounter prices that...
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2022-11-26 23:04:45

How NOT to do Black Friday

Is anyone else sick of the phrase "Black Friday" yet? Here is an example for retailers on how NOT to do Black Friday.

A couple of days ago, I saw an ad on Facebook from some company called Ukiyo Sense that sells tea infusers. The so-called Black Friday deal was to...
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2022-11-23 16:46:46

Elon Style

The chaos at the Church of Twitter has been even greater than my wildest expectations. There's been another max exodus of employees this week after Elon sent an email requesting that they opt-in to Twitter 2.0, which he describes in the following manner:

"We need to be extremely hardcore. This...
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2022-11-18 16:37:07

James Muddled

I saw James Clear's newsletter this morning, and it reminded me of my idea to create an alter ego.

First of all, everyone claims to love James Clear's newsletter. I mean, it's okay, but is it earth-shattering? Some nice ideas, but have I taken action or bettered my life because of...
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2022-11-17 16:31:47

Black Friday already!?

Tomorrow is Veteran's Day in the US, but you wouldn't know it based on emails or social media. All I keep getting are announcements of "Black Friday" sales. Already!?

Immediately after Halloween was over, I started seeing messaging about Black Friday. This is supposed to be the day after Thanksgiving, but...
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2022-11-10 15:09:45

Toys and Tots

"You see they are having a community get-together in the park on Saturday?"

"Yes, Judge Dredd."

"Come on! Meet your neighbors and enjoy company. You can also drop off a toy for Toys for Tots. Make sure it's unwrapped."

"Who has time for all this?? I know there are plenty of people with...
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2022-11-08 21:20:50

Got any good jokes?

"Got any good jokes?"

"Yah, I know a few."

"Gimme one."

"A trucker walks into a truckstop and sees a sign on the counter: 'Cheese sandwiches $2 Handjobs $10.' He sees the gal behind the counter and says, 'Excuse me, miss. Are you the gal that gives the handjobs?' She says, 'Yes, I...
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2022-11-03 22:33:10

Beware the noisy killer

I received an email with the subject line "Beware of the silent killer." I thought about it for a moment and decided I'd rather be aware of the noisy killer.

Let's say it's the middle of the night, and I'm peacefully sleeping. A silent killer breaks into my house. He doesn't...
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2022-10-21 18:14:41