Brandon Wilson @therealbrandonwilson

Brandon Wilson last shared their writing Feel good fart
"You ever blast a fart and it feels great?"

"Well, most farts are pretty standard. I have had to hold it in when I'm in mixed company, and when I can finally let it out I have tremendous relief."

"I mean like true pleasure from the act of pushing out a fart."

Brandon's Pantry
🍣 23 Sushis
πŸ§‡ 22 Waffles
πŸ₯Ÿ 21 Dumplings
πŸͺ 12 Cookies
πŸ₯š 28 Eggs
πŸ“ 14 Strawberries
πŸ₯“ 29 Bacons
🍺 22 Beers
🍫 22 Chocolate Bars
πŸ₯ƒ 23 Whiskeys
β˜•οΈ 26 Coffees
πŸ₯© 19 Steaks
🍊 22 Tangerines
🍡 24 Teas
🍍 18 Pineapples

Got any good jokes?

"Got any good jokes?"

"Yah, I know a few."

"Gimme one."

"A trucker walks into a truckstop and sees a sign on the counter: 'Cheese sandwiches $2 Handjobs $10.' He sees the gal behind the counter and says, 'Excuse me, miss. Are you the gal that gives the handjobs?' She says, 'Yes, I...
2022-11-03 22:33:10

Beware the noisy killer

I received an email with the subject line "Beware of the silent killer." I thought about it for a moment and decided I'd rather be aware of the noisy killer.

Let's say it's the middle of the night, and I'm peacefully sleeping. A silent killer breaks into my house. He doesn't...
2022-10-21 18:14:41

So much for pre-orders

Exactly one month ago, I pre-ordered Vishen Lakhiani's new book, The Six Phase Meditation Method. I still don't have it.

Vishen was at the Biohacking Conference last month, and I was intrigued by his description of his six-phase approach to meditation, which can be done in 15-20 minutes. I pre-ordered the...
2022-10-20 14:17:30

I should have bought two iPhones

I wrote previously about my experience buying the first iPhone in 2007. After reading this story, I should have bought an extra one! An unopened original iPhone just sold for $39,000 at auction.Β 

There may have been a purchase limit on the iPhones, but I don't remember. I'm sure they...
2022-10-17 15:41:26

Mr. Friday

A friend of mine borrowed some money from me a month ago, and he just paid some of it back today. My reply to his ο£Ώ payment was the following: "Mr. Friday is back in action."

We met at work when we were both temps over twenty years ago. He's...
2022-10-14 14:00:10

The reward for doing a good job is more work

A buddy of mine said that his company suddenly and unexpectedly announced 15 layoffs, including his manager and two employees on his team. Those employees received three months of salary as part of their severance package. My buddy remains with the company having to take on seven additional clients for...
2022-10-13 14:44:26


I had a Teams interview today for which the candidate was a no-show. Not a good sign. Usually, the excuse given for showing up late or not at all is that they couldn't get Teams to work. Wouldn't you launch Teams ahead of time and make sure everything is working...
2022-10-12 16:20:58

They'll let anyone in!

This week, my neighbor suddenly began frantically knocking on my door. I didn't hear her because I was on the phone, and the new Air Pods Pro 2 earbuds have exceptional noise cancellation. My neighbor proceeded to call me, and I knew something was up because of her escalation to...
2022-10-11 19:07:03

Smashing Pumpkins Syndrome

What are we calling him these days? Yeezy, Ye? Since those are non-names, I shall use Kanye West. I made the claim toΒ  abrahamKim that the song Gold Digger is his masterpiece. Sir Abe suggested it's one of his masterpieces, so I asked...
2022-10-06 14:58:09


"I signed up for a free webinar on Thursday."

"Oh yah? What's it about?"

"Increase energy, decrease anxiety all through breathing."

"Wim Hof?"

"No, Ari Whitten."

"Never heard of him."

"I hadn't either, but Dave Asprey promoted this webinar, so I signed up for it. I looked him up and looks like he's got a book...
2022-09-27 17:20:03