Brandon Wilson @therealbrandonwilson

Brandon Wilson last shared their writing Time-saving tips
The great thing about Nespresso coffee pods that are ostensibly good for the environment is that they are recyclable. So you take the used pods and put them into Nespresso's pre-labeled bag, seal it up, and drop it off at any UPS location, no questions asked. That's very convenient as...
Brandon's Pantry
🍣 19 Sushis
🧇 18 Waffles
🥟 15 Dumplings
🍪 12 Cookies
🥚 24 Eggs
🍓 8 Strawberries
🥓 25 Bacons
🍺 19 Beers
🍫 17 Chocolate Bars
🥃 16 Whiskeys
☕️ 21 Coffees
🥩 16 Steaks
🍊 19 Tangerines
🍵 18 Teas
🍍 13 Pineapples
Collections

Free Book

I received an email where the FROM was the phrase "Lottery Winner." Let's start with that. Note to email marketers, stop trying to be cute by changing the FROM name in your email. This same scoundrel has used phrases like "Cinnamon Oatmeal," "Weak Muscles," and "how to pee." It's annoying,...
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2021-12-23 17:20:36

Unplugged and seated

In 1993, singer Rod Stewart released a live album called Unplugged...and Seated. The title is a play on the idea that Stewart typically dances and moves about the stage during his concerts, which often conclude with him kicking autographed soccer balls into the audience. Ronnie Wood, who was in The...
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2021-12-21 14:48:04

Active shooter training

It is a sad state of affairs that we now have "Active Shooter Training" as part of standard training for employees. 

My first experience with this training was about five years ago. Much of it was common sense. I actually don't remember much of the information, and the guidance has...
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2021-12-17 14:22:33

I am not a coder

I will be the first to tell you that I am not a coder. I do consider myself a documentation specialist, though. I was tasked with creating a consultant score card that led me down several Google searches to get it to work properly.

The template is easy and basic. You...
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2021-12-14 14:53:00

Managing time off

When I worked at a Fortune 500 company, I had a staff of 14 people. The director issued an edict that we could not have more than 10% of our team out on approved time off for any given day. Taken literally, that meant I could only approve one person...
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2021-12-13 15:11:16

Pretending to work

Never has there ever been a better time to pretend to work. Most people with desk jobs are still working remotely, which means you don't have to worry about sitting in a cubicle in the office while the boss watches your every move. "Boy, you sure are in the break...
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2021-12-10 12:42:36

Fake controversy

I avoid the news in general and specifically political news, but I couldn't pass up commenting on this story with the following headline: "Kamala Harris Using Wired Headphones and Having 'Bluetooth Phobia" Sparks Controversy."

What drew me to the story was the fact that the VP was bucking the trend of...
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2021-12-09 13:42:09

Free shipping on all orders!

The flood of marketing emails continues even after Black Friday and Cyber Monday. The latest one in my Inbox has the subject line: Free shipping on all orders! Free shipping is supposed to be a perk, but I think most of us now consider it standard. We've been spoiled by...
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2021-12-08 16:29:00

A proper resume

This morning I saw someone tweeted about "going live on ProductHunt," which I guess is a thing. The announcement was for something called Resumey.Pro 2.0, which purports to be a tool that "lets your resume stand out." According to the product page, you can accomplish this with two simple steps: ...
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2021-12-07 14:18:06

ABP - Always Be Pissing

Perhaps you were thinking of the quote from Alec Baldwin's epic speech in Glengarry Glen Ross. For him it was ABC - Always Be Closing.

I maintain that one indicator of your health is your pattern of urination. Of course, this will vary between individuals and is based on a variety...
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2021-11-30 21:34:50