Brandon Wilson @therealbrandonwilson
Brandon Wilson last shared their writing
PTO Donation
I saw a post on the website Cheezburger.com, which somehow floated to my SmartNews feed. First of all, writing a paragraph and then posting screenprints of comments from social media does not count as anything close to a news story. Nevertheless, since I have personal experience with the topic, I...
Brandon's Pantry
🍣
23
Sushis
🧇
22
Waffles
🥟
21
Dumplings
🍪
12
Cookies
🥚
29
Eggs
🍓
14
Strawberries
🥓
31
Bacons
🍺
23
Beers
🍫
22
Chocolate Bars
🥃
24
Whiskeys
☕️
26
Coffees
🥩
20
Steaks
🍊
22
Tangerines
🍵
26
Teas
🍍
18
Pineapples
Collections
Amazon Shit Reads
It's the beginning of June, and on cue, Amazon notified me that the June First Reads books have arrived. Oh goody. This is one of a host of "benefits" associated with having an Amazon Prime membership. The Amazon First Reads program allows early access to a new Kindle book, free...
Trash night
"Are your trash and recycle nights the same?"
"Yes, Monday night for Tuesday pick-up for both trash and recycle. Although I have a sneaking suspicion that both bins are going to the same trash heap. I don't know how it changes with the holiday, but I saw other people put their...
"Yes, Monday night for Tuesday pick-up for both trash and recycle. Although I have a sneaking suspicion that both bins are going to the same trash heap. I don't know how it changes with the holiday, but I saw other people put their...
Afternoon lunch
[Standing in line waiting for a table at the restaurant. We are behind a party of four that walked in ahead of us: Mom, dad, and two rambunctious teenage boys. The phone at the hostess station rings.]
Hostess (picks up the phone): Thank you for calling the Golden Goose. May I...
Hostess (picks up the phone): Thank you for calling the Golden Goose. May I...
Never let a holiday go to waste
On May 30, the US celebrates Memorial Day. This day is ostensibly to honor those who made the ultimate sacrifice fighting for the freedoms we have in our country. In reality, most people just care about the three-day weekend. This year, I've extended mine to a six-day weekend. Also, marketing...
Hawaii
"A friend of mine is going to Hawaii for a six-month contract gig. He's getting a house there and said he might just retire there. Depending on how things work out, I may just decide to move there and do the same."
"I've never been to Hawaii. I don't really have...
"I've never been to Hawaii. I don't really have...
A Dangerous Trend of DIY Baby Formula Has Gone Viral
I just read the headline. I didn't bother reading the story because I already know the content. Parents are struggling to find baby formula due to the current shortage, and they are looking for recipes to make their own baby formula. This trend will be regarded as "bad" and "dangerous."...
Ping Pong Sex
"I saw you playing last night, but you were caught up in ranked games so I couldn't send you a challenge."
"I was in the zone last night."
"Me too. May I suggest The Killers Essential playlist as a backdrop for playing? I had that going last night."
"I'll have to check it...
"I was in the zone last night."
"Me too. May I suggest The Killers Essential playlist as a backdrop for playing? I had that going last night."
"I'll have to check it...
Wisconsin Man Celebrates Eating Big Macs Every Day for 50 Years Straight
The headline for this story got my attention.
Now look, I'm not a stranger to McDonald's even in the present day. I still have a vivid memory of tasting my first chicken McNugget when I was a kid. I'll still have a sausage egg McMuffin once in a while. I've never...
Now look, I'm not a stranger to McDonald's even in the present day. I still have a vivid memory of tasting my first chicken McNugget when I was a kid. I'll still have a sausage egg McMuffin once in a while. I've never...
You can tell him whatever you want
"Would you be available the Friday before Memorial Day weekend for Jason's birthday dinner?"
"You know, I've been meaning to bring this up. He's the kind of guy whose birthday has to be celebrated. It needs to be a big fanfare, everybody pay attention and show up and kiss the ring....
"You know, I've been meaning to bring this up. He's the kind of guy whose birthday has to be celebrated. It needs to be a big fanfare, everybody pay attention and show up and kiss the ring....
Dreams and weddings
I had strange dreams last night, but don't worry. I'm not going to bore you by describing them.
Why is it that some people love to describe their wild dreams to other people? There's nothing worse than someone saying, "Oh I had this CRAZY dream last night..." You know you're in...
Why is it that some people love to describe their wild dreams to other people? There's nothing worse than someone saying, "Oh I had this CRAZY dream last night..." You know you're in...